"We're not idiots, you're the idiot that doesn't know how to cook."
"Hey, that's not fair." I defend myself to Bryson. "When did you learn to cook?"
"I helped my mom now and then."
"Well, my mom likes to be alone in the kitchen, it was her haven so I didn't get to learn anything from her."
"You don't have to be so snippy." Crosby says.
"I'm not being snippy." I say, snippily.
"Boys, boys, settle down." Felix interjects. "Here, I've got drinks for everyone and I'm going to put on my favorite cooking playlist."
Felix settles us down and I start to peel the outer edges of the corn back.
"You’re doing that wrong." Bryson says.
"I wasn't going to say anything but yeah," Crosby adds.
"How the hell do you know how to clean corn?"
"Of anyone, I would have expected you to be excellent at cleaning corn on the cob." Bryson mutters before sipping his sparkling water.
"It's not a cock."
"Then why are you holding it like one?"
I look down and see that I have it in my hand like I'm about to rotate and tug so I slide my fingers down and pinch it at the base but that doesn't look any better.
"He's just a natural with a phallic shaped item." Felix says proudly.
"But he's still doing it wrong." Emmett points out.
"Alright, fine, how would you do it?" I chuck the ear of corn at E.T.
"Well, first of all you're not taking big enough pulls, you'll be here all night if you do it that slowly." He grips it and rips off half the outer leaves. I pick up another and do the same. Then E.T. rotates it and pulls off the rest, and so I copy him. Then he starts to pull the little strings out and in just a minute or so the corn is clean.
"Huh, that was pretty easy."
I marvel at the clean ear of corn in front of me. Maybe I am going to be good at this cooking thing after all.
***
"Duncan, it's a piece of chicken." E.T. unhelpfully points out.
"But it's cold and slimy!" I shiver.
"This I'm going to give to him,” Aiden says. "Raw meat is kinda gross."
"Fine but you're a vegetarian so I don't expect you to be good with this." Bryson pops a grape in his mouth.
"Oh, sorry, Young Gun." Felix says. "Do you need to step aside?"
"I'll be fine." Aiden says as I try to muster the bravery to pick up the piece of chicken again. I'm supposed to be slicing the thigh into strips so it'll bake with the vegetables and better but I'm struggling. And there are a lot of chicken thighs in that bag from the deli.
Andre is just standing to my left, one hip leaning on the counter, with his arms crossed. I feel like I'm in trouble.
"Fine, okay, fine, I'll do it."
