"I'm sorry to break it to you Rhys, but your career is what you wanted. Your career comes first."
She's right. I hate that she's right. I came to the U.S. after my first album was released in the top ten on the country charts. Stardom was happening. And I wanted it.
My life growing up was too quiet. And the pain of making music in a house where it couldn't be heard ate at me. It was part of my rebellion, it was childish at first, playing loudly late into the night.
Then it became a compulsion. I couldn't not play music.
Then it became my job.
And I never truly understood the scope of what I’d be giving up. Or that someday I would crave a quiet life out of the spotlight.
And now my job is going to keep me from Duncan.
He’s busy too but naively I thought our conflicting schedules would just sort themselves out.
I expected us to have a conversation soon about what my schedule would be like going forward. He’s still playing hockey through April, longer if they go to the playoffs. I just wasn't planning to tell him I was leaving for six months.
I let out a beleaguered sigh.
"Listen Rhys, I know. And I can probably swing some time off once the album is out and the first leg of the tour is over."
"So a year from now." My words fall flat, my chest deflating with the weight of the challenges ahead.
"No, like eight months."
"Fine, but next summer I want a break to spend a week at home and two weeks with Duncan."
"Three weeks off?" Zara sounds like I've asked her to add an elephant to my rider.
"Yes, I'll do one show in the UK if I have to but I want that time."
"Fine."
"Thank you."
"But then you're touring all summer. I'm talking music festivals, carnivals, church bar-b-ques."
I roll my eyes. "Fine."
"Pleasure doing business with you Rhys." Sarcasm and affection laced in her tone.
"And I agreed to play at one of Duncan’s friend’s weddings. So work around that too."
"Of course. What else can I do for you boss?"
"I should pay you less so you're more afraid of me." I grumble.
"You like me too much." She chuckles and I join her.
She's right, I do.
She hangs up and I battle with my excitement for Lennox being on my album and still not knowing how I’ll be handling Duncan.
There’s no denying how difficult she just made this conversation with Duncan. And, we didn’t actually discuss how we’d announce our relationship.
I fire off a text asking if she’d meet me for a coffee later as Duncan comes back from the patio.
"Tomorrow is going to be a beautiful day for Teamsgiving." He’s beaming and my body lights in response.
