"You ready?" Zara whispers as she comes to stand next to me.
I’m playing a song next.
Zara asked if I wanted to do one of my new songs but I told her it wasn’t ready. Truth be told, I wasn’t ready.
But seeing Duncan there, knowing the song I’d sing was for him, I’m sort of regretting it. Ever since Halloween I haven’t been able to shake his quiet confession,tonight was perfect, thank you for coming, it felt like there were oceans of unsaid words between each syllable.
At that moment, I made a joke. My heart opened so fully to him I could feel his vulnerability and his resistance to it. And, while a part of me wishes I had rolled over to face him and told him how deeply I love him—because, obviously that's what I’m feeling—his relief was palpable.
In the weeks since, I’m even more grateful I didn’t say more. I’ve been busy with this showcase. Duncan has been busy with games and practice and travel. Besides, what good would declaring it do for us?
I’m leaving.
He’s still not a relationship guy.
I’m still supposed to be moping about fucking what’s his name.
The need I feel to express myself can be channeled into song. Duncan showed me a lighter way, he gave me companionship. Truly filling thefriends part of our original arrangement. And I should be able to walk away.
Applause brings me back to the present and I congratulate the student who leaves the stage before walking out with just my guitar. An amp, loop pedal, and microphone are all I need for this performance.
"Thank you all so much for being here tonight, let's hear it again for our incredibly talented students." Dr. Roland Mercer, the Dean of The Elliston Academy, pauses while the crowd claps. "Now, this showcase is one we put on every semester so we hope to see you back again. But this show’s focus on song writing has been supported by our Artist In Residence, Rhys Reid!"
Cheers, whistles, and applause rise up as I lift my hand in a wave.
The familiar sting of the spotlight in my eyes is easily hidden when I widen my smile. The humidity from the floor lights warms me as I come to stand next to Dr. Mercer.
Right below me is Duncan. He and his friends are standing, clapping, and he's the one wolf whistling non-stop.
"You've got some fans here tonight." Mercer jokes.
"It seems I do." I smile in his direction and I hear a muffled "You're my favorite Scottish country music star."
I scoff a laugh. "Specific." Mercer says. "Rhys, I wanted to give you a moment to say a few words about our program."
"Yes, thank you. Well, as many of you know The Elliston Academy is the premier performing arts high school in the country. Many talented people have graced this stage and I am honored to be here supporting the next generation of music. The truth is many artists take the stage alone, or with a small band, but their support structure runs much deeper and it truly takes a team to succeed."
I hold my hands out to each side of me. "The students are the real stars tonight but here’s a little treat from me to you."
Mercer leads another round of applause as he backs away from the stage and I plug in.
Slowly I play the repeating guitar riff and after sixteen beats I let the recording take over. I move over to the drum board and tap out the simple rhythm and I slide my guitar behind my back and place both hands on the microphone.
In the country, with the windows down,
On the back road.
Radio on, dust swirling, and a sunset,
Give me your two hands and a tank of gas.
Nothing too fast.
The crowd is quiet for a moment as I finish singing the stripped down version of my hit "Nothing Too Fast" but when I click off the loop with the toe of my boot it erupts.
And front and center is Duncan who is shaking Felix by the shoulders and jumping up onto his seat.
"Yeah baby! So good!" He yells and I freeze mid-bow.
