But sitting here in the quiet of my apartment, I can see it from the other side.
Special treatment.
That’s what it looked like to them. To the team. My version of it was that we’re two people, practically the same age. Ithappened naturally and grew slowly and genuinely from weeks of forced proximity. That’s not what they saw. What they saw was the skating coach and the captain and, yeah, special treatment.
I put the ice pack down.
And why wouldn’t they? She’s coaching staff, functionally. She runs our sessions. She gives corrections. She has Calloway’s ear. And if they look at her and see someone whose position here is complicated by what happened between us…
What does that do to her authority?
What does that do to everything she’s trying to build here?
I think about what she said in the fight.
What about my job? Did you think about that?
I didn’t.
That’s the honest answer. I didn’t think about it. I wasn’t thinking about what it costs her to be here in the first place - a woman in a men’s hockey environment, brought in as a figure skater consultant, fighting to be taken seriously from day one.
I think about the first session. Mercer subtly challenging her. Barrett pushing. I feel a coil of shame when I remembered how I’d reacted. I’d already decided what she was and what she could offer.
I set the tone.
That’s what she told Calloway in the office that day. And she was right. They take their cues from me.
She came here to rebuild her life.
And I’ve been making it more difficult since she first arrived.
I grab my jacket.
I need to do what I can to make things right.
16
Chapter 16
ELIDA
I sit on the sofa without taking my coat off.
That’s how I know I’m not okay - when I can’t even manage the basic mechanics of coming home. I think about Mercer’s words.
Special treatment from the skating princess.
This is what happens.
This is exactly what happens, and I knew it and I did it anyway.
She misunderstood the nature of our relationship.
And what would Calloway say? If Mercer said something officially? Or even Russo. He can confirm we slept together, and that’s it. Game over.
I was right to call it off. I was right from the beginning, and I got confused by the stairwell and the hotel. Byhim. But that punch…
The anger on my behalf.
