“He was naked.” Shannon put her head down on the kitchen table and sobbed.
“It’s okay, Shan,” Traci murmured, stroking her friend’s shoulder. It wasn’t until the tears were streaming down her own face that she realized she was crying too.
Shannon raised her head, grabbed some tissues, and blew her nose. “The worst part was, I wasn’t really drunk. Tipsy maybe. And I wasn’t drugged. I should have known better. As soon as I saw him in that bathrobe, I should have left. I wasn’t some innocent virgin, Trace. I should have known what he wanted. I should have made him stop.”
“No, Shan! None of this is your fault. He was an adult. A predator. He must have had it all planned out—the job offer, the dress…”
Shannon’s face was red and blotchy from crying. “I told him to stop. I told him I’d scream and his wife would hear me. He laughed and said his wife was out of town.”
She gulped and hiccupped. “He didn’t use a condom, because he said he’d had a vasectomy, the lying bastard. When it was over, he gave me a hundred dollars. I threw it in his face. He said if I ever told anyone what we’d done—whatwe’ddone!—he’d make sure I never got another job in Bonaventure County. I would have died of shame before I ever told anyone.”
“Even me? Your best friend?”
“Especially you. Things were serious between you and Hoke. I was furious—and jealous.”
“So what happened next?” Traci prompted.
“Hudson drowned, like, ten days later? It was the perfect excuse to get rid of me.”
“I wish you could have told me,” Traci said softly.
“Me too.” Shannon sniffed. “I was so mixed up. I needed a friend.”
“When did you find out…?”
“Not until I was almost four months pregnant. My periods were never regular, if you remember. Plus, I was in denial. By then, it was too late. Not that I would have considered anything else. Telling Mama was the worst.”
“I can’t even imagine that. My mom used to say your mom was up at the church every time they opened the doors.”
“Mama sure did love Jesus.”
“Poor Jeannie. I bet she was devastated.”
“At first she was. But then she said it was the Lord’s will. After that, we were okay. I mean, she was still ashamed that I’d gotten knocked up…”
Traci’s eyes widened. “You didn’t tell her what Fred had done to you? It was rape, Shan. You were sexually assaulted, against your own will. What he did to you was a crime.”
“I wouldn’t allow myself to call it that. I just… blocked that day out of my mind. I would not be a victim. I told Mom that it was anolder, married man from work. Anyway, she forgave me everything the first time she held Olivia.”
“Can I ask? How did the whole settlement thing happen?”
“The minute I found out I was pregnant, I knew I had to grow the hell up. I couldn’t be a kid having a kid. So I made a plan. I showed up at his house and rang the doorbell. There were two cars in the driveway, and one was a champagne-colored Cadillac, which I figured had to be his wife’s.”
“How’d you get past the security gates?”
“Remember that smoking-hot security guard, Omar?”
Traci laughed and fanned her face. “How could I forget Omar?”
“He was a sweetheart. The day I went back to the Saint, he was working the gate. I told him I needed to go clean out my locker and he waved me through.”
“Damn, you’re good,” Traci said admiringly.
“The old man answered the door,” Shannon went on. “He tried to close the door in my face, but I stuck my foot inside, and I leaned in and I whispered, ‘I’m pregnant, you son of a bitch. And if you don’t let me in and deal with this, I will find a way to tell your wife.’”
“Damn, Shan! I knew you were ballsy, but wow.”
“I still don’t know how I had the courage to confront him.” Shannon stopped herself. “Actually, I do know. It was my baby. I’d felt her kick and I took that as a sign that I had to do something to take back control of my life. I owed it to her to make sure she’d be provided for.”
