“I don’t think that’sverycomforting,” I pointed out.
“It probably is if you’re one of the Blattodea,” replied Barbara Clench.
“True,” I conceded. “But the thing is,I’m not.”
Rhys Jones Bowen was looking contemplative. He usually looked at least a bit contemplative, probably as a result of being so infuriatingly secure in himself. Or having a beard. “Well,” he said, “I can’t say I’m not sad to see it go. But Ialsocan’t say it wasn’t a laugh while it lasted.”
Alex bowed his head solemnly. “Fare thee well, C.R.A.P.P. We shall not see thy like again.”
“I mean, there’s still about four months left until CRAPPstonbury,” I pointed out.
“Fare thee well, C.R.A.P.P.,” Alex corrected himself. “We shall carry on seeing thy like until around the middle of June, andthenwe shall not see thy like again.”
Dr. Fairclough had, of course, already gone, which meant it was up to me and Barbara to officially call things to a close. And it felt weirdly final, even though it strictly wasn’t. Even though we’d be back in the office the next day, and the day after, and the day after that.
But it was getting really close to being over. And I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
Not that I had much time to feel anything. Because I had a social worker’s visit to prepare for.
* * *
“You saidwhat?” asked Esther at the emergency post-letting-your-foster-daughter-get-arrested meeting.
“Somewhat rashly,” replied Oliver, “and to my deep regret, I said something approximately along the lines of ‘Take the car and go for all I care.’ It was foolish and I should have realised that at her age, Jasmine would take me literally. But unfortunately, I had lost my temper and wasn’t thinking clearly.”
Esther flipped her notebook shut and frowned. “You know a more cynical woman might point out that it’s a bit of a coincidence how you said almostexactlythe minimum amount you could have said for Jaz not to be guilty of twocking but also for you not to be guilty of child endangerment.”
One of Oliver’s eyebrows curved into an arch. An arch presumably aimed at the nonexistent more cynical woman. “Now you mention it, that is quite the happy accident, isn’t it?”
“Still”—Esther gave both of us a don’t-fuck-it-up look thatRuPaul would have been proud of, or possibly would have failed to recognise the value of and kicked off the show in episode three—“I hope we’re agreed that you’re never going to say anything like that ever again.”
Oliver gave a slightly exaggerated headshake. “Absolutely not. I have learned my lesson and will be far more careful with my language in future.”
“Well then.” Esther put her notebook in her bag. “I think that’s everything.”
I was so relieved that we’d got away with the whole twocking incident that when Oliver said, “Actually, there is one more thing,” I thought I was having an auditory hallucination.
And from her expression, I got the impression Esther was feeling similarly. “Why do I get the feeling you’re about to push your luck?”
Oliver was sitting bolt upright with the kind of posture you saw in office diagrams about how to sit with good posture. “I think now is an appropriate time to talk about Jasmine visiting her mother.”
From the look on Esther’s face, she didnotthink now was an appropriate time. “You think directly after she stole—”
“Took with reasonable expectation of consent.”
I’d never seen somebody put quite as much grudging into an expression of grudging respect as Esther did. “—after she took your car with a reasonable expectation of consent is a good time to talk about changing the terms of her placement? Because in my professional opinion, this is guilt talking.”
In my have-been-with-him-for-five-years experience, she was exactly half right. Oliver clearly did feel incredibly guilty about how things had gone with Jaz, and not just the whole car-stealing thing. But he would also never, ever, ever suggest a course of action he didn’t sincerely believe in.
“Okay,” I said, “butIdidn’t give her a reasonable expectationthat we consented to her taking our car, soIdon’t feel guilty. And I think it’d be a good idea for her to see her mum too.”
“Noted,” said Esther, “but youarean inveterate people pleaser.”
“She went to Dagenham last night,” Oliver went on, “which is where her mother’s flat is. Lucien tells me she was deeply upset when Ms. Johnson didn’t attend their first meeting at the school.”
“She was,” I confirmed. “And you know that because you were there.”
“I was there,” agreed Esther. “Ms. Johnson wasn’t. And, as you point out, Jasmine found that upsetting.”
