“I am glad to be doing something together,” Oliver agreed. “Although I suppose from a certain perspective, the fact that your burger is looking a-fucking-mazing suggests we should carry on exactly as we are. Clearly it means we appreciate things more.”
“But Ihateappreciating things,” I play-complained. “Is this what being a grown-up is like? You never get any quality time with your partner and all your friends are constantly busy so suddenly a meal in a dog-friendly pub in Romford is the highlight of your month?”
Oliver gave me a strangely contented smile. “It seems so. Which is”—he paused for just a moment—“scary if you let it be, but from another perspective, perhaps rather wonderful?”
Fuck, I hoped he was right. “Fuck, I hope you’re right.”
And Oliver laughed again. Louder this time, loudly enough that it set off the misunderstood corgi. “Frankly, so do I.”
“Hang on,” I protested, “I just did theeverything will be okayroutine for you. It’s your turn to do it for me.”
“I’m afraid, my dear Lucien, that we are in uncharted territoryfor the both of us. But everythingisgoing to be okay. It’s like you said about Jasmine—”
“Oh my God. You’re supposed to be helping, not using my words against me.”
“I’m using your wordsforyou.”
“That’s even worse.”
“All I’m saying”—he set his fork down beside his bowl of chilli, took my hand up again, and kissed my fingers gently in that maybe-cheesy-but-not-cheesy-to-me way he had—“is that it, and byit, I mean everything—being alive, being a grown-up, life in general—is a learning experience.”
I tried to scowl through my schmoop. “This is the bit where I’m supposed to relish an opportunity for growth, isn’t it?”
“How about, for now, you work on relishing your cheeseburger?”
“But what do I doafterI’ve relished the cheeseburger?”
“That’s a post-cheeseburger problem.”
I took a bite. “Okay, yeah. The live-in-the-cheeseburger-moment plan is really working for me.”
“You see?” Oliver was smiling his most reassuring smile. “Being a grown-up isn’t so bad.”
“Mrrfgh,” I contributed.
“Mruff,” Spud contributed.
“We’ll make more time for each other moving forward. And once things settle down, we’ll see our friends more often as well.”
“Will we, though?” I asked, looking up reluctantly from my burger. “Right now we can’t even organise a dinner party.”
Oliver gave an almost missable flinch. “It’s true things have been a little difficult. But that’s only because we have Jasmine, and Bridge has Autumn, and everybody has new responsibilities that we need to work around. Once we’re all together, it’ll be just like old times.”
“You really think?” I asked.
“I really think.”
And I believed him. Mainly because I really, reallywantedto believe him.
But what I think I missed, looking back, was that he really, really wanted to believe him too.
Chapter 29
“The problem, you long Saxon prick,” Bronwyn was saying through Zoom into my computer and through that into my ears, “is thathe’simpossible to work with.”
“I amnotimpossible to work with,” James Royce-Royce replied and then, because he was taking this call with Baby J on his knee, he added, “Daddy’s not impossible to work with,is he?”
James Royce-Royce’s habit of asking Baby J to back up his every statement had been annoying evenbeforeBaby J had got old enough to actually do it. “No?” said Baby J, not sounding super confident, if I was honest.
