Ryder’s gaze lifts to mine, likely deciding what she wants to say, if anything. “I’m not exactly sure what happened, but I need to find out.” She starts on the other wrap. “I think your friend took her back somewhere.”
I nod. That was evident. “Nick is a good guy. He can be rough and gets worked up, but he’s one of the best men I know.”
She studies my face, and I know she’s not giving anything more away.
“Are we ok?” I ask, needing to know where we go from here and to be sure nothing else is unraveling before my eyes.
Her brow scrunches. “You don’t need to apologize. You didn’t have anything to do with that.” She lets that hang there, draping her wraps over her shoulder. “Unless there’s something you need to tell me.” She bites her bottom lip, trying to hide a smile, but it doesn’t work.
I see it.
I want to laugh, but it hurts too much right now. I run a hand through my damp hair. “Not unless you consider my sister’s threats about not attending Thanksgiving a need for further precaution.”
“Your sister is expecting you for Thanksgiving?” Her tone is a bit tighter compared to a second ago.
“My sister expects everyone to be at Thanksgiving. She’s one more person I’m going to disappoint and piss off.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, with the way things are going, I should get used to it.”
She doesn’t say anything but stares at me long and hard. Her eyes reveal something new. Sympathy, maybe, but I don’t want it.
“I’m hungry. Do you want to help me with dinner and turn on a game? You’ve still got a lot to learn.”
Her shoulders sag along with her eyelids. “I just think I need a better teacher.”
It’s my turn to rest my hands on my hips. “That’ll cost you, Jones. See, I learned from the best, and I live and breathe this game, in case you haven’t noticed.”
She grabs her phone. “Huh, I hadn’t quite gathered your lame-ass life revolves completely around a bunch of sweaty guys trying to see how hard they can knock each other over.”
“Lame-ass?”
She smiles, and it’s a rare sighting. It zaps the agony buzzing through me, and instantly, I want to know how to make it happen again.
“Because your evenings are typically filled with extravagance and fun?”
She passes me on the way to the stairs. “I live with three women. I can assure you, quiet evenings are non-existent.” She stops before she takes the first step down. “But you cooking dinner and showing me how your game works isn’t so bad.” She starts down the stairs. “And your fight stance could use some work, but it isn’t completely terrible either.”
I smile, and it feels damn good. “Hold on. I didn’t say I was making dinner. And what happened back there, that’s a secret.”
I think I hear what might be a laugh. It’s exactly what I need at the end of this shitty day. If I can make her do it again, maybe it will help me not think about all I have to face tomorrow.
“Matthews, has anyone ever told you rules are made to be broken?”
I’ve always lived by rules. It’s what got me here, but this woman has me thinking about a whole list of personal rules I just might feel like breaking.
Chapter 21
RYDER
I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Tracker’s words from long ago whisper all around me.
“You have to make a choice. Only you can do it. Only you can dig down deep enough to find whether there’s anything left worth fighting for.”
I can still feel the cold, sleek metal, the roughness of the grip biting into my sweaty palm, and my finger wrapped tightly around the trigger.
“Are you worth fighting for, Ryder? Are they? The ones just like you.”
