I push my lips to the side. “Cole, this is what I do. I need you to be ok with that.”
“I know, and I’d never ask you to stop.” He pauses. “Can I be really honest with you about something?”
“Uh. . .yes. I’ve been painfully honest with you.”
He lies down next to me, and I roll on my side to face him.
“I’ve had this thing, this fear, since I was little. You know my mom died.” His eyes drop to the space between us. “She was gone. Just like that, and I’ve always been terrified that it’d happen again with someone I love.” His eyes drag up to mine. “I’ve seen your blood and scars. You got shot right in front of me. I don’t think I could—”
“Hey.” I slide my palm against his scruffy cheek, and he turns his head and kisses the underside of my wrist. “I took a lot of risks. Tracker was on my ass constantly. I’ve just. . .never had anything to lose. Nothing mattered except getting those kids out. Not even my own life.”
I fist his shirt. “But I’ll be thinking about you now and all that I’d be missing.” I lift my eyes to his. “All of the things I’ve never had.” I spread my hand over his chest. “I can’t promise that I won’t get hurt, but I’ll try really hard not to until it’s time for me to help these kids in a different way.”
His lips brush against my forehead. “Do you have any idea when that might be? Because I really don’t want to be away from you.”
I smile. “Not yet. I have to meet with Rodriguez and decide if I’m ready to help the FBI. But first, you need to get yourself a new team.”
“You’re kind of bossy.” A smirk breaks free on his insanely handsome face.
“Yep.”
His chin tips down, and his lips brush against mine.
I slide my hand behind his neck, wanting more, and he delivers, waking my entire body.
This time with Cole has been everything. The thought that I would ever be this comfortable with a man is ridiculous, but here I am with the very best one.
His lips move along my jaw and down my neck as he grips my side, like he’s seeking control.
My fingers skim his bare torso, and his strong muscles contract.
He pulls away, his lips a little red. “Let’s go. We need to get up.”
“Right now?”
His eyelids droop a little. “Yes.” He rolls out of the bed and stands over me. “We can’t do any more of that in there, or I’m going to want things we aren’t doing yet.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Yet?”
“Yes, yet.” He leans down, bracing his arms on the bed. “We’re going home to figure things out and keep adding to the list of things you’d miss.” He leans even closer, his lips an inch from mine. “I don’t care how long it takes. Eventually, one of those things is going to be making love. You and me. We’re going to know what it’s like together.”
I stare at him, a weird wave of heat rolling through my body and into my face. It’s completely uncomfortable, but somehow, in the best way.
I swallow, finding my voice. “You sound pretty sure of yourself.”
“That’s because I am. I’m sure of us.” He doesn’t move.
“You’re awfully confident there, Matthews.”
He slides his arms around me. “Nah. I just know what we can do together.” His head dips, and his mouth lingers on my neck again. “How about we go home and get to work?
I let my head fall to the side, giving him access. “What exactly are we working on?”
I feel his smile press into my skin, and he pulls away, tugging me up and out of bed. “Well, first, we’ve got to figure out our job situations. Then,” His arms cinch me in tightly. “Hopefully, we’ll go to the mountains to keep working on this list of rules we’re breaking.”
“It sounds like you have something in mind.”
“There are a few we should attempt to tackle.”
