“I miss you.”
My head snaps up at her quick words.
“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’ll probably do it again, but. . .I miss you. So much.”
She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, her gaze roaming the room, but then those turquoise eyes find mine. “See, when I’m with you, all of the pain goes. . .just a little bit numb.”
My entire body relaxes with relief.
She straightens, her full attention on me, and I know she’s being brave. “I got used to sleeping at night, and when I couldn’t feel you near. . . ” She pushes her hair behind her ear. “Being with you, it might truly be the only time in my life I’ve felt safe.”
I step closer, wanting to reach for her but giving her time.
She watches me so closely.
“You willalwaysbe safe with me,” I promise, needing her to hear it again.
She shoves her hands in her pockets, her stance stiffening again. “You don’t know all of me. What I went through. The things I’ve done. The things Ihadto do.”
I watch her force it all away, and I hate it.
“So much of me is damaged. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I’m screwed up, and I don’t want any of it to touch you.” Her chin dips. “I want so much better for you than me.”
My heart drops to my stomach. “There is no one better than you.”
Her eyes press closed, her head falling to the side, and I see that this will take time—me showing her I mean that with everything I am.
“You think that now but. . .I will carry it forever. Part of me still lives in that world. It’s how I help kids who will never escape on their own. They need me.”
I need you.
I’m a selfish bastard, but it’s true. “I want to help. However I can. No matter how much it scares me to watch you go, I would never ask you to stop doing what you do. I’d go with you if I could.”
I mean it.
“Cole.” She breathes my name, and it sounds painful. She pulls her hands from her pockets, fisting them at her sides. “I don’t know if I can give you everything you’ll want. The things you should have or at least the possibility of having.”
I stare into her eyes, seeing the courage it’s taking to be this honest. “I want you. We’ll figure everything else out.”
She pushes out a breath. “I don’t know how to do this.” Her tone is gentle.
I smile. “Me neither, but I know how to love you.”
Her eyes drop to the floor. “I’m not easy to love.”
I step closer. “I don’t need this to be easy.”
“I’m not sure you—”
“Ryder, I’ve got a lot of love to give that I’ve been just holding on to. When it gets hard, I’ll love you even when you don’t want me to.” She bites her bottom lip to keep it from trembling as tears fill her eyes. “I just need you to let me.”
Her head drops, her eyes falling away again. “I think it’s possible I love you, too.”
My heart swells three sizes, skipping a few beats. “Possible?” I don’t even try to hide my smirk.
She pushes her lips to the side, fighting that gorgeous smile. The one I will forever know is not freely given. I want all of them to be mine.
“Fairly certain, and. . .I think it might be a lot.” Her chin lifts. “It’s why I want more for you. I want you to love someone who won’t run every time she gets scared and who knows how to love you in all the ways you deserve. A woman who can be touched and kissed and—”
