It kind of is, but I don’t care.
“What did you do tonight?” I’ve never seen Ryder in her environment, except for that one night at Tracker and Hope’s house.
“I ate brownies and helped Jamie pack. She’s moving out in a few weeks. Then we ordered pizza, and Jos, Van, and Ly proceeded to argue about who’s taking her room.” Her tone softens, and she sounds sad.
“Don’t Vanessa and Lyla already live there?”
“Yeah, but they travel a lot. Lyla is in New York most of the time. Jamie’s room is on the first floor across from mine, and apparently, it’s bigger. You wouldn’t believe how many times the tape measure was pulled out and the bartering that was going on.”
“Sounds fun.” It makes me think of my family and Maggie telling me to come home. “What would you think if I said I wanted to go home for a few days next week?”
Silence.
“To see your family?”
“Yeah.”
More silence.
“Is. . .that what you want?” There’s a hesitancy in her voice that I want to erase.
“Never mind. It’s not a good idea.”
“Are you sure you’re ok?”
I hear her concern. “Yeah. I’m good.”
“Are you missing your sudoku puzzles? You know, there are apps.” She teases me, and it ignites a fire in my belly that I have to dampen quickly.
“I’ve been missing it for a while since you steal it every night. How do you know there are apps?” I toss back, wishing we were hanging out in my room instead of being on opposite sides of the country.
She dodges the question. “Is Captain Human Papillomavirus stationed outside your door?”
I laugh. “Yes. Well, I think so.”
“Could you double-check and make sure the deadbolt is secure?”
“Sure.”
“You need to go to bed, Matthews. I want to actually be able to tell what’s happening in the game tomorrow.”
“Ok,” I laugh, and the silence settles in again.
I’m not ready to hang up. “Hey, Ryder.” I pause and then leap, jumping in, wanting her to know I might be scared, but I’m here, and I plan to stick around. “Will you call me if you have a nightmare tonight?”
A few seconds tick by before she says anything. “Cole.”
I like the way she says my name. Soft but also commanding.
“You need to sleep, not be worried about—”
“Please.” I can’t think about her waking up alone.
There’s a long pause, so long I check to make sure she didn’t hang up.
Then, I hear the only word I need tonight.
“Ok.”
