He put the car into gear, returned to the road and turned the radio to talkback. Addison let it play for all of three minutes before switching it off again.
‘There’s another principal opening in Pinnaroo if you wanted to ditch this place. Ian told me about the unexpected real estate offer too,’ she said. ‘You’re not even tempted?’
‘Belle wouldn’t have wanted that. She loved it at South Giddi Giddi. Ian and Louisa have always loved it there too.’
Addison folded and unfolded the strap of her handbag. ‘I love your heart, Spencer, but you can’t stay on those terms alone. Nobody is pressuring you to leave your home, but it sounds like Ian and Louisa are excited about the idea of returning to Canada. I thought you’d be happy for them.
‘Is South Giddi Giddi holding you back? Can you really move on, and expect to bring another woman into your life, if your past is so carefully wrapped around your future? It seemed to me that Ian and Louisa were trying to set you up so you could keep that dream alive, and now, because that didn’t work, maybe they’re trying to set you free? I get it, it’s a beautiful home, and even though you took down her photographs, there’re memories of Belle in every room, in every garden bed.’
It was eerily similar to what Emily had said, and the knowledge that Addison was making a logical argument, and asking a question he’d asked himself many times, didn’t make it easier to hear.
What is it with everyone trying to tell me how I feel?He took a hand off the wheel and chewed on his thumbnail. ‘I don’t know anymore.’
‘Maybe it’s a great time for a change?’
Spencer nudged the car into the middle of the road. He knew every divot and pothole, every slippery corner, and the scrubby sections where kangaroos and wallabies were most frequent. He’d been Spencer Hawkins from South Giddi Giddi for nine years, and he loved the serenity, the peace the property offered. How could Ian and Louisa leave?
Would he ever feel the same sense of home if he left, or would he spend the rest of his life feeling like a wanderer, trying to find the place where he belonged?
‘Change isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be, Addy. I’ve tried it, and look how well that worked out for me. I told Belle I’d look after this place.’
Dolly met them at the carport, her tail wagging, and a generous rib bone clenched between her teeth. Spencer switched off the engine and went to open the door when he felt Addison’s hand on his arm.
‘Before we go inside, promise me two things. Just meet with these house hunters today instead of dismissing it outright. They might be idiots who’ll run the place into the ground, or they might be the perfect caretakers for this garden, this home. And if so, then maybe that’s an easy way to settle this once and for all.’
Spencer eased out a slow breath. ‘They’re wasting their time, I’m not even sure why Ian’s entertaining the idea. I won’t be cleaning up or doing anything special for this. In fact, I’ll probably be on the opposite side of the paddock, just me and the bees.’
Addison squeezed his arm. ‘I know, Spence.’
‘And the second thing?’ Spencer got out of the car, and Addison joined him to collect the shopping bags from the back seat.
‘This completely contradicts my first point, but bear with me. I only met Clem briefly, but I liked her more than anyone else you’ve dated, and every time we spoke over the last few months you seemed happy, even though on TV it looked like your love life was a shambles,’ Addison said. ‘If you love Clem, then isn’t it worth finding out if she said those horrible things in a moment of shock? Will you look back one day and wish you’d tried to explain it to her, understand her viewpoint before walking away?’
Spencer shook his head, determined not to think about the void Clem’s absence had left in his life.
The sound of a carving knife being sharpened rang through the kitchen at South Giddi Giddi when they walked inside. He knew he should be soaking up the joy of having his house filled with the people he loved, but he still couldn’t shake his dark mood.
He packed away the groceries, then carried the last of the supplies to his ensuite.
A deodorant can fell to the floor. Crouching on his hands and knees, Spencer crammed his arm between the tiles and the base of the low-set unit. He felt something soft, and drew out a purple velvet scrunchie.
Spencer carried the soft fabric to his nose. The scent of Clem’s rosemary shampoo brought back a rush of memories: the time he’d stood beside her in the shower, soaping her back while she washed her hair, shampooing it twice and then running a comb through the slick of conditioner.
Had Harriet noticed it was missing yet? Clem had scoured the bathroom, the kitchen, and he’d joined the search between kisses, looking underneath the bed and inside the kitchen cabinets, determined to return the treasured scrunchie before Harriet knew Clem had borrowed it.
He shook his head. Clem had crossed the line, clear and simple; he had every reason to cut her from his life. So why the hell did it hurt so much?
A few hours of decent sleep helped Clem power through opening on the Monday before Christmas, and when the large family she’d met the other day returned for brunch three days in a row, Clem forced herself to think about the benefit to her bottom line, not the blow to her heart.
‘This really seems the perfect place for a tree change,’ the older lady told Clem, placing an order for scones. ‘You’ve got beaches, wineries, and lovely little cafes like this humming with character. After two decades in Roxby Downs, we’re ready for fresh seafood, cooler weather and reliable rainfall,’ she said, looking at her watch. ‘It’s 39 degrees at home all this week, while down here it’s a very pleasant low 30s. Just gorgeous.’
Clem collected the rest of the orders, trying not to stew over an assumption.
‘Have you seen Cockatoo Lane estate?’ Clem said. ‘I hear there are only two lots left. My friend Fergus moved into his new home with his son and they say it’s marvellous.’
The younger couple exchanged a look. ‘We’re not really supposed to say, seeing it’s off-market. But the place we’re looking at is exactly what we’ve been looking for, big enough to fit three generations.’
A small voice in Clem’s head reminded her that dozens of properties changed hands each year, and nobody was any the wiser until after the previous owners had left and the new residents arrived with their moving vans and unfamiliar surnames. But as she topped up their water jugs and caught snippets of their excited chatter, she was sure they were talking about South Giddi Giddi.
