Something had changed between them during the filming of that show, and the longer Clem lay there, glaring at the ceiling, the more she worried that she’d completely misread the room.
This is messy with a capital M.
She jumped out of bed, desperate for something to distract her from the raw embarrassment that threatened to consume her.I’m not going to let it ruin the school holidays, or my Monday off.
She dressed, and straightened the frames hanging on the wall. The collection of sepia prints featured her grandparents, Arthur and Shirley, as a young soldier and nurse, and a beautiful black-and-white photograph taken on her great-grandparents’ wedding day hung beside her grandfather’s war medals.
Was it so wrong to want a romance for the ages, like the Crossleys two and three generations before her? Her parents certainly hadn’t had one of those, and if she was honest with herself, Clem didn’t have a great track record either.
Who was she to cast stones about messy lives? Her ex-husband Adam Dunkirk was never going to be the partner she needed or a proper father to her children. She sighed. Maybe messy was part and parcel of anyone over the age of twenty.
After a Harriet-made breakfast, which turned out to be a rubbery batch of burnt pancakes, the girls busied themselves making a stage and pretend microphones. Clem turned her attention to the housework.
The instinct to clean was still her default when she was feeling stressed, but for some reason, the vacuuming andmopping didn’t expend her nervous energy like they usually did. She moved to Indi’s room, systematically emptying the cupboards and sorting the clothes and toys into piles.
Soon, Indi’s small desk, dressing table and bed were covered in clothes that were too small, too tatty, or ready to be donated, and a mountain of toys that hadn’t been used in way too long.
‘Mummy, what’s wrong?’
Clem was so immersed in the cleaning frenzy, it took a while to register those three words. What did it mean that her little girls could recognise her mood so easily?
Harriet took another look around the room, shook her head and stepped out again. Indi stood in the doorway, fiddling with her wooden-spoon microphone.
Was she setting her daughters on a dangerous path by teaching them that stress equals frantic cleaning, and vice versa?
‘Bit of a mess, hey Indi?’ Clem let out a deep breath and then took another, surveying the wardrobe’s bare shelves. She looked back at her beautiful girl, her hair mussed and her tiny brows knitted together in concern. Indi lifted up her arms as she walked towards her, and Clem swung her up onto her hip.
‘Do you want to help me put these into bags? I’m sure Uncle Jack can use some more rags for his shed.’
Even though Indi’s assistance was often more hindrance than help, the room was eventually back in order.
Jack phoned as she was loading up the car with the clothes for the op shop, and she promised to swing by.
‘My rag bag was looking pretty low,’ he said, tossing Indi onto his shoulders the moment she stepped into his house. ‘Were you having a clear-out?’
Clem hesitated. Telling her brother she’d been obsessively cleaning was like a red flag. But from the way he studied her while he made them both a cup of tea, she knew he could sense something was off.
‘Just a little cleaning,’ she said. ‘Nothing to worry about. Spring cleaning, in fact.’
He settled the girls with his new collection of wooden jigsaw puzzles, carried their mugs to his outdoor table and shifted the deck chairs into the sun.
‘You know you can tell me what’s bothering you, right? Anything, no matter how stupid or small, or big.’
He waited patiently, letting her work through the doubt and vulnerability in silence.
‘Have you ever kissed somebody by accident?’
Jack burst out laughing. ‘Sorry, I wasn’t expecting that. Do I need to run a background check for you, see if this guy regularly goes around being accidentally kissed by cafe owners?’ Jack coughed, shaking his head. ‘I’m not going to find a restraining order with your name on it at work tomorrow morning, am I?’
‘Put your badge away, there’s nothing sinister going on.’ Clem picked up her tea with a soft smile. ‘I’m not sure if I read the situation completely wrong. Or maybe everybody does stuff like that, like when you accidentally say “love you” at the end of a work call.’
Jack chuckled. ‘Haven’t done that either, but don’t let it stress you out, Clem. I’m not gonna pry, though I’d sleep easier knowing this incident didn’t involve Adam Dunkirk.’
It was Clem’s turn to laugh. ‘Hell, no. I’m done with that chapter in my life. Adam calls twice a year on the girls’ birthdays, and for Christmas, but that’s the extent of it.’
Jack crossed his legs and leaned back into his chair. ‘I thought you were looking especially happy about something when we were fitting that coffee machine into the van the other day. I should have known it was more than a work thing. Go on then, who’s the lucky guy?’
She shook her head. She’d already said too much. ‘It’s complicated. I have no idea if he even likes me.’
