She tried not to glance at his trouser fall, behind which was his penis. If all went according to plan, she would become better acquainted with it.
“Is that what you came to say?” he whispered. Still tense, but a little amused now.
She still couldn’t find her voice. “I.” It emerged more as a croak than a word.
“Is anything wrong?” he asked urgently.
Her heart swelled. God help her. It sounded as though he was ready to do murder for her, if necessary.
She swallowed. “I’m... I thought...”
He wasn’t helping her at all. Likely because he’d just fully realized she was wearing only a pelisse over a night rail. His eyes traveled the length of her and returned to her face, and now his eyes were dark and fixed.
Queasy with fear and shame, and despite all that, despite the madness of what she was doing, there was a nearly unbearable, pulling yearning between her legs.
Why hadn’t she rehearsed this?
“I’m... I’m here about your offer.” Her pounding heart made her voice tremble.
It sounded as though she were applying for a job.
“My offer.” He repeated it carefully. Whispering.
He was going to make her say it out loud?
She swallowed. “I’ve decided to... when first we met, you said you would... if I... one night...”
He pulled in a long, long breath. “Oh. I see.”
The following silence was deafening.
A draft tugged at the candle flame.
“I’m afraid that’s no longer possible,” he said.
Oddly, the fact that he’d said it so kindly made the words ring as stunningly hateful, because she was at once excruciatingly embarrassed.
Even though there was nothing of condescension in them.
She felt like a child who had just done something ridiculous.
“Go back to bed, Guinevere.” He said this slowly, firmly yet so tenderly.
Why was his voice shaking?
She remained frozen.
“Go,” he repeated, urgently. Hoarsely.
What would he do if she reached out and touched him now? What if she traced that open V at his throat, as she longed to do?
She knew the two of them were fuse and flame.
He would combust. He would seize her like he had the day in the cemetery.
He closed the door.
And threw the bolt.
