And then he realized it was just a matter of contrasts. Glory was like an old rabbit ear antenna that tuned into his truest self. He felt funnier, freer, lighter around her. The whole world felt brighter.
And now the world had gone back to being a shade too dim.
Fuck it.
He scooped up the mail he’d dumped on the counter and sank down on the couch in his boxers to rifle through it: Bill, bill, discount coupon for a new restaurant in Hellcat Canyon, bill, bill, a shooting range coupon, an intriguing plump manila envelope from his mom in Sacramento, bill, bill, a postcard from his college ex-girlfriend, Courtney. He paused to peruse that one. Palm trees, big blue ocean, white sand beach. Admittedly a pretty appealing view. She’d taken a job in Miami and she’d wanted him to relocate with her. Plenty of law enforcement jobs there.
Instead, he’d broken up with her and had taken the job in Hellcat Canyon.
He turned it over and read:
Still think you’re crazy not to come here.
He sighed and tossed it aside.
He slit open the envelope from his mom and pulled something out. He unwound a few miles of bubble wrap and finally found a silver frame around a newspaper clipping.
BARLOW EARNS COMMENDATION
Sheriff’s Deputy Critical to Busting
NorCal Drug Trafficking Ring
Alongside the columns of text was a photo of him, caught by the news photographer mid-interview with a television reporter, all serious and strong jawed and buzz-cut. The caption read, “Deputy Eli Barlow of Hellcat Canyon was critical to the multi-agency law enforcement effort to take down a Northern California meth distribution network.”
The article recapped everything that had gone down to lead up to the awards ceremony.
Jonah’s name and photo were in that article, too.
Much smaller.
Hewas freshly buzz-cut, too.
But orange really wasn’t Jonah’s color.
“Jonah Greenleaf of Hellcat Canyon arraigned on charges of meth distribution” is what it said under his photo.
His mom had affixed a Post-it note to the back of the frame. It had a row of little tabby cat faces across the top. His mom was a sucker for anything with kitties on it. Funny, because she was one of the toughest people he knew.
So proud of you. Your dad would be, too.
Xoxo Mom
Every day he came home alive was a victory in his mom’s eyes. Still, she’d love putting that commendation in the family Christmas letter.
She only lived a couple of hours away, but she still liked to send him little gifts, clippings and so forth, so he’d have something to find in the mail. A few weeks ago she’d sent him his grandmother’s engagement ring with another little note: “In case you might want to give it to someone anytime soon.” She might as well have added: “P.S. You’re not getting any younger.”
He remembered seeing that tasteful antique, a ruby flanked by two little diamonds on a gold band, on his mom’s hand. His grandmother had been a tasteful antique herself, a patrician woman who had struggled to adjust to the idea of her Ivy League–educated daughter marrying Zachary Barlow, a small-town sheriff’s deputy.
His grandmother had learned to love his dad, though. She had a heart as huge as Hellcat Canyon. Just like his mom.
Eli glanced down and saw that his knuckles were white. Maybe he was hanging on to a lot of things a little too tightly.
He opened the coffee table drawer, shoved the frame in, and slammed it shut.
Which is what he’d done with every photo of Jonah.
Except for one. It was on the side of the refrigerator, way in the back, where he could only see it if he was reaching into the cupboard and could mostly pretend it wasn’t there. Glory was in that one.
