“I’m sorry I went about it so awkwardly. It’s just... I didn’t want her anywhere near you, Britt,” he said. “Because I know all too well what she’s like. And now... so do you.”
“She said you were up all night.” Her voice was thick now. Her eyes were shining.
Dear God. If Britt cried, his heart would snap in half with a report like a fired 22.
He could justhearRebecca’s insinuating voice saying that.
“That’s what she does. She messed with your head. We were up most of the night about thescript. And catching up on people we know, industry news, things like that.”
“Sounds like a good time,” Britt said. Bitterly.
“Well, it wasn’t abadtime. It was shop talk with a colleague. The worst part of the night was realizing the woman I’ve made love to every day for the past three weeks couldn’t be bothered to call me back.”
Britt went still. He saw the guilt flicker over her features.
He pressed his advantage. “Twelve phone calls and three apologies for something I really had no control over is my limit, Britt. You either believe me or you don’t. I’m not going to grovel. And I haven’t heard you apologize to me yet.”
Her jaw dropped. “You wantmeto apologize toyou?”
“Common decency and three weeks of hot sex dictates you could have at least answered one of my calls. Do you think I can’t possibly have any feelings of my own, because my job is to have pretend ones?”
Damn.
He’d just argued himself right into a corner. Because he knew what the next question would be.
They stared at each other in wary silence now.
“All right, J. T.,” she said quietly. “Whatareyour real feelings?”
He crammed his hands into his pockets. Closing off, protecting himself.
And he looked at her. Into her shining eyes, with the mauve shadows beneath them. And his chest tightened and he couldn’t breathe. And suddenly he was in that car sailing up the ramp and he didn’t know how he was going to land or if there was even a ramp and he couldn’t do it.
“I like what we have going,” he said, finally. Quietly. “I don’t want it to end.”
He knew immediately it was wholly inadequate.
But then someone else had always written his words for him.
“But wasn’t italwaysgoing to end, J. T.?”
And suddenly his hands iced. “What do you mean?”
“L.A., people like Rebecca, red carpets, movies—that’syour real life. That’s where you belong. Not here Hellcat Canyon. This is... thedreamyou’re having during your downtime. Only I’m the hobby this time. We both got something out of it.”
And it was like she’d literally kicked the foundations out from under him. Inwardly he was flailing. He felt the blood rush from his face.
“My life is wherever the hell I want it to be,” he said hoarsely. “And I like it right here, right now.”
“I think once you get back among your own kind, you’ll probably forget all about that.”
But her expression was at odds with her tone. She was saying things, for whatever reason, that she didn’t mean.
And then he slowly straightened. And gave a short, bitter laugh.
He knew exactly what she was doing. And why.
“You know... it could just as easily be me out there on a billboard, advertisingThe Rushwhen it airs. Because that’s my job, too. And I get that my life can be kind of overwhelming, with the paparazzi and the gossip sites and all of that. The thing is, I don’t think that’s your issue here at all, Britt.”
