What had happened to me and what was still happening to all the girls who’d been taken.
I would do the untangling and take the answers to Bram when I had them.
“At least call or text to let him know you’re safe.” Jagger’s voice pulled me from my worry about Bram. “I’d want to know that if the shoe was on the other foot.”
“Agreed,” Vigo said, pouring whiskey into his tea. “I’d be losing my shit if I didn’t know you were okay.”
The comment sent a flush of warmth through my chest. I knew the Hawks gave a shit about me — any doubt I might have had about that had disappeared when I’d been blind — but I was still feeling my way around the contours of what was between us, still trying to figure out if I was a prized toy they wanted to keep intact or… something else.
“You’re right,” I said. “I’ll text him.”
“Thank fuck,” Hawk said. “Now let’s eat. I’m fucking starving. And I want to check out Anna Reed’s house.”
It was a reminder that I was closer than I’d ever been to answers about my parents. Tomorrow we’d talk to Anna Reed, and maybe, just maybe, I’d finally know what — and who — had taken them from Bram and me that day on the mountain.
40
JAGGER
Drivinginto the village of Fullerton, Cassie’s hand in mine in the back seat, it was almost possible to believe we were normal. That we were just on vacation, going out for dinner and a few beers, checking out the picturesque town.
And the craziest fucking thing of all?
I’d never even wanted to be normal. I’d left normal behind when I’d started tossing money off buildings in the city, when I’d left my seven-figure job and custom suits to rob banks with Hawk and Viggo in Blackwell Falls, a town I was willing to bet none of my Wall Street cohorts had even heard of.
So why did I want to play house with Cassie Montgomery? Why did I want to go to dinner without talking about sex trafficking and the Russian mob and private banking? Why did I want to walk the cobblestone streets holding her hand, looking in shop windows and talking about what to bring home as a souvenir?
And why thefuckdid I want to keep her forever?
These were the questions that dogged me as Hawk parked the car on one of the little streets in town.
I took Cassie’s hand when we got out, because we might not be able to keep her with us forever, but I could at least hold her fucking hand.
That part of my fantasy was doable.
The sun was setting as we wandered, looking for a place to eat before finally settling on a place called the Mayfly, a brick building with a steeply pitched roof and an outdoor dining area right on the River Test.
We got a table outside and ordered half the menu and four beers — Cassie wanted to try Guinness — and sat back to enjoy the atmosphere.
It had rained earlier in the day, and the pavement was still damp, the temperature just cool enough to be pleasant. The conversation of other diners was a pleasant hum, ducks quacking their way along the river, dunking their sleek heads for fish and river grass.
I watched Cassie from across the table, wanting to memorize the way she looked in the setting sun, her hair on fire, eyes shining green from her perfect face, a face that increasingly made me feel sappy and lovestruck which was a very bad thing.
I turned my attention to the swell of her tits instead, because thinking about how much I wanted to fuck her was easier than thinking about how much I fucking loved her.
Jesus christ.
I was relieved when the food came. For all my talk about feelings with Cassie — about the value of tough conversations — I had no fucking idea how to broach the subject of how I felt about her, no idea if she felt the same way, although there was one thing I knew.
Hawk and Vigo were as head over heels for Cassie as I was.
I saw it on their faces every time they looked at her: Vigo as transparent as tissue paper, Hawk trying his damndest to stay cool and failing every step of the way.
That was what Cassie had done to us: exposed our soft underbellies, the sides of ourselves we’d thought we’d banished in favor of pure, unadulterated fun.
Except now nothing sounded like more fun than keeping Cassie — loving Cassie — forever. Than continuing to show her that she was more than just Bram’s little sister.
I pushed it all aside, focusing on the plates of food that filled the table, dishing a little of everything and putting stuff on Cassie’s plate too.
