“And you’re a wimp. Come on. We need to know if she left it.”
“What are you going to do?” I ask, eyeing the Godwins.
Frankie flinches for a moment. “I’m thinking about it,” she says slowly. “But you go first.” She elbows me in the side, and I stumble forward, knocking into Trevor’s shoulder.
He spins around and looks genuinely happy to see me. “Millie, hey.”
“Hi,” I say. “Do you…” I look back at Frankie, whose eyes are wide as she nods vigorously. “Can we take a walk?”
Trevor shrugs. “Sure. Let’s go.” He waves at the kids he’s talking to, and we leave the crowd, heading toward the boardwalk.
“I feel like we haven’t hung out one-on-one in a bajillion years,” he says.
“Well, whose fault is that?” The words slip out, and I recognize a cruel tinge I can’t take back.
“I’ve been busy,” he says, bristling. “So have you.”
“With Erica?”
Trevor turns to me slowly, his mouth parted. “Sure, but it wasn’t like you were hanging around waiting for me to hit you up. You’ve been spending so much time with Ethan this summer. Must be nice, since you like him, right?” He must see the shock on my face, because he leans in, an admission on his lips. “C’mon, Mill. I’ve known you had feelings for him for a long, long time.”
I tense all over, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. Having your crush—yourlove—exposed to everyone in your life is like being gutted from the inside out, hung from a meat hook, and asking those around you to come bid on your flank, your ribs, your stomach.
“It’sfine, Millie,” Trevor says, waving a hand in front of his face. “I got over it.”
“Over it?”
Hie eyebrows shoot up. “You didn’t know?”
“Know what?”
Trevor’s cheeks flush, and he brings one hand up to the back of his neck, rubbing quickly. “I thought you and I…I figured one day…”
“You likedme?” The idea is so shocking I stop walking.
“I mean, yeah. Of course.”
“I had no idea.”
One corner of Trevor’s mouth lifts up. “That’s okay. Erica showed interest, and I figured why not, you know? Lost a little hope here.” He motions to the space between us.
“God, I’m an idiot.” I squeeze my eyes closed.
“Nah,” he said. “I get it. I’m used to being in Ethan’s shadow. And it’s okay. I’m over it. Really.”
“If it makes you feel better, he and I never should have happened,” I say. But when I say the words, I realize based on his confused expression that Trevor might not know what I mean.
“What are you talking about?”
If I’m going to ask him to be honest with me, then the first thing I have to do is be honest with him. “I kissed him. A few days ago. Right after the breakup.”
“Holy shit.”
“It was a total mistake.”
“Uh, yeah. No shit. That’s fucked up.”
But right as he speaks, I realize that, actually, itwasn’ta mistake to kiss Ethan. “I’m glad it happened, because if it didn’t, I would still be wonderingwhat if. Now it’s like I’ve flushed him from my system. I can move on.”
