I stick my spoon back in my bowl. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was mortified. I mean, I cheated on Billy. I wasn’t exactly proud of that. And if it got back to Billy…It was just easier to keep it a secret.” A small smile starts to form on her face. “This is bad, but it wasfunto have a secret. A summer fling before college. Something sweet and easy.”
“But then you found out you were pregnant.”
She nods, her eyes downcast.
“And then Billy died.”
“I found out the morning of the party.” Erica swallows and rests her palm on her forehead. “And I told him that night.”
My mind is moving so fast, trying to parse the words, figure out how they translate to what I know about Billy’s death. “How did he react?”
Erica smiles, soft. “He thought we were going to get married and live in an apartment in the city that his parents paid for.”
I bite my tongue and try not to point out how delusional this line of thinking is.
“The next morning, his dad called me and basically demanded that I keep quiet. I guess Billy told him before he died.”
“What was Mr.Godwin’s reaction?”
Erica leans in, clasping her hands together. “Maybe I’m losing it, but I really thought they would want me to have it. That they would want some part of Billy alive. But they were furious. Said I was probably lying, and even if I wasn’t that they wouldn’t support it at all.” Erica bites her lip.
“Why didn’t you want to take the DNA test? Why did you refuse?”
“On principle,” she says. “They’re only doing it because they don’t want me to have any of their money.” She scrunches up her nose. “I don’t even want it. I went over there a few days ago before all this craziness,” Erica says, “and his dad was such an asshole, screaming at Mrs.Godwin about how Billy would still be here if she had just let him sleep at home that night.” She shakes her head. “He was drunk, I think, but it was so creepy, and Mrs.Godwin threw a plate at him.”
My jaw tenses, and Erica narrows her eyes.
“What?” she asks. “You have that look on your face that you get before a math test.”
“Were his parents home the night of the party?”
“His mom was, but she always takes a bunch of benzos and passes out. I never saw Billy’s dad. He’s in and out a lot.”
“Do you think he could have been on the boat?”
Erica’s eyes flash recognition. “When we were together, Billywould say that his dad disappeared all the time and would sometimes sleep on the boat if he got into a fight with Mrs.Godwin.”
My mind whirs, the possibilities crystallizing like developing photographs. “What if Mr.Godwin was on the boat? What if he and Billy got into a fight that night overthis?”
Erica’s mouth drops open, and neither of us say anything. We don’t have to.
Frankie
Rocking back and forth in the hammock in our backyard, a soft breeze cool against my skin, I should be relaxed. But all my limbs are tense, and I’m restless, flopping around, trying to get comfortable, wanting todosomething.
I cross my arms over my chest and look up at the dark sky, where the stars are so bright they seem to illuminate the whole yard. I try to think of the things I can do that might actually get me closer to figuring out what happened.
I can go to Detective Hampton and show her the note, tell her that I’m positive Erica left it for me—and that they need to keep looking at her. But I can already picture the way Hampton would blow me off, think of me as a dumb kid, just like Lucy did.
I can confront Trevor and Alex and demand they tell me more of what they know, but based on the truce we reached today, I’m not sure I want to rock the boat. Especially with Alex, who hung around for hours doing puzzles with me in order to take our mind off things. It almost felt like we were back to beingus.
Trevor mentioned that he wouldn’t be surprised if Mr.Godwin was hiding something based on how much of a dick he was being to Erica, so that’s an idea. I can try to do some sneaky stalking ofMr.Godwin and see if he’s up to anything creepy. But there’s no way I’d be able to go to the Godwin house without being detected.
I swing my legs over the side of the hammock and look out to the sea. It’s useless. There’s nothing I can do that would give me any answers. But at least there’s this view. There isalwaysthis view. The Sound stretches out before me, dark and still, the perfect place to learn to swim, to kayak, to paddleboard, to water-ski. This body of water has been the backdrop to our entire lives, and I can’t imagine ever living far from a beach. Not that I would want to.
When Alex and I were five, our families installed a shared dock between our beaches so we could jump out into the water without having to wade in through the rocky shore. I stand up and walk toward it, suddenly desperate to dip my feet, to see how cold it is.
