A silence stretches between us as Mellie runs up and grips each of our shoulders, steering us toward the horse stables.
“What the hell is going on?” she asks in a voice reserved for the problem campers.
Ava shrugs her off and crosses her arms, tears glistening in her eyes.
I look for an apology. “Mellie, I—”
“You’re what? Sorry? You should be,” she says to me. “Ava’s had an awful day. I’d expect you to be a better friend.”
Her words sting, especially as Ava bites her bottom lip, looking off into the distance.
“Go help Christina set up the sundae bar. Cool off.” Mellie throws up her hands and shakes her head. “I expected better of you both.” She takes off back toward the game, and Ava and I are left standing there, surveying the damage.
But I can’t look at her any longer, so I spin on my heel, ready to leave. Before I make it very far, Ava grabs my hand and pulls me back half a step.
“If you have any faith left in me at all, meet me behind the rock wall after lights out.” Her voice is urgent, the pain still there, raw and ragged at the edges. “Wait for my flashlight signal.”
I rip my arm away from her and stomp off toward Christina. But I know I’ll meet her.
I have no other choice.
CHAPTER 46
Then
I wasn’t supposed to be at that New Year’s Eve party. I wasn’t supposed to be in Roxwood at all.
Ishouldhave been with Ava and Imogen at some gala Ava had invited us to the week before.
Ava called both Imogen and me and didn’t wait for hellos. “Open your email.”
Imogen saw it first and squealed into the phone. Ava had sent us invites to some black-tie New York City prep school party that took place every year at a posh uptown hotel. Tickets cost a fortune and Ava had bought them for us.
I brought my laptop close to my face and watched the animated invitation blink back at me, champagne glasses dancing across the screen. The words were all in cursive, regal and romantic.
“You guys have to come,” Ava said.
“Obviously,” Imogen said, without missing a beat.
When I hesitated, Ava sighed. “Come on, Goldie. What’s waiting for you there in Roxwood?”
My cheeks flushed and I stammered, trying to find the excuse. I knew they wouldn’t understand, me ditching them to hang out with aboy. Atownie. But Heller was... everything up here. And we had been together for six weeks, a lifetime. He consumed me.But I knew he could never compare to the people Ava dated who wore designer loafers and had been to Paris. The boys in Roxwood weren’t lax bros like Imogen’s classmates. They were... boring. Good for a fling. Something to ogle at during nights off at Truly’s. Nothing more.
And yet... how could I explain that even though we were together, Heller hadn’t asked me to spend New Year’s with him, not yet? And that I didn’t want to say yes to Ava because I wanted to hold out for him? For some stupid house party where there would be cheap beer in a musty basement and shitty music blaring out of a busted-up speaker?
They would never understand why I would wait for an invite tothatwhen Ava was offering me a lifeline, an out.
“Goldie, you’re obviously coming,” Imogen said.
“Of course!”
“Phew,” Ava said. She then started talking about what we would wear and who would be performing and how there would be an extremely sought-after photobooth there so our youth and beauty and fire would be immortalized forever.
Imogen encouraged her, asking questions like she would be quizzed later, and all of a sudden, I felt utterly and completely alone, like I was drifting further and further away from the conversation, like we were speaking different languages.
Soon, Imo had to hang up and go to rehearsal forA Midsummer Night’s Dreamand Ava was heading to a yoga class, and I was left with a silent phone in my hand, still hot from being pressed up against my ear.
We continued our regular text banter for the next few days, our conversations peppered with Ava’s thoughts on what kindof New Year’s hats she would get and if we would need faux fur stoles to brace against the cold. And as the days passed, I grew more certain of my decision. It was the right call. Heller hadn’t invited me to spend New Year’s with him. The one magical night where everything is lit up with possibilities and the world is supposed to turn shiny as the years change from one to the other. New Year’s Eve senior year. It was athing. Right? It had to be. Who you spent it with meanteverything. And if I couldn’t spend it with Heller, at least I could spend it in New York with Ava and Imogen.
