But when you’re here at Alpine Lake you’re not thinking about things like grocery stores and parking lots. You’re thinking about how Fourth of July is one of the most important nights of thesummer. It’s one of the only all-camp events where you don’t have to sit by cabin or by group. You can choose where you sit and more importantly—who you sit with. You understand deeply that if someone’s arm slinks around yours, the rest of your summer might be completely and totally altered.
“Time to round up the troops,” Meg says.
We make no movement to get up.
“Oi,” Meg says, crossing her arms. “Gonna make me say it twice?”
There’s an edge in her voice that causes me to wince.
“You okay?” I ask.
Meg blinks twice like she’s trying to make out what I said. Then her smile’s back, her eyes sunny. “Of course,” she says before making shooing motions at Ava, Imogen, and me. “Just get ’em loaded up with ice cream and then send them to the soccer fields.”
We heave ourselves out of the chairs as Meg walks away.
“Geez, what’s up with her?” Imogen asks.
“No idea,” I say. I brush off her weird vibes and head over to the Bloodroot girls, huddled around a picnic table covered in paper plates, cherry pie stains, and half-eaten hot dogs. They hold hands and skip their way to the ice cream line, jumping and overjoyed with the possibility of somethingnew, somethingexciting. I smile when I see Jordie and Bianca nestled in the middle of the group, their matching bandanas visible from my spot behind them.
But then I hear a rumble coming from the driveway near the gazebo. I turn to see a big white truck with the wordsGUS’S FIREWORKSprinted on the side.It comes to a stop and a bunch of people pile out of the side door. I peer at the group and try to make outfamiliar faces, to see who got summer jobs playing with explosives. It was a popular gig for stoners and athletes, kids who carried around Zippo lighters.
The front door of the van opens and Cal Drummond steps down, turning to face camp. His eyes are narrowed and a scowl is pasted on his face. I grip Heller’s ID badge in my pocket, feeling the plastic dig into my skin.
“Boo,” Imogen says, coming up behind me and wiggling her fingers around my ear.
I jump, nearly hitting her in the face.
“Oh my god, did that actually scare you? Youhaveto start watching horror movies. What if I become a final girl when I get to Hollywood?”
I laugh nervously but keep my gaze on the Cal, who is now unloading all the gear onto a golf cart to take down to the soccer fields.
The girls in my cabin fill their bowls with various flavors and toppings. Right behind them, Cal hops on the back of the golf cart and whizzes down to the field, but not before looking over his shoulder, right at me. He lifts one eyebrow in acknowledgment but then turns away.
Suddenly I want to rush to him and push him off the golf cart. I want to throw him to the ground and scream. I want to ask him,Why were you here the other night? Why did you have Heller’s ID?
Ava nudges me with her elbow. “Want some?” she asks, biting right into a scoop of java chip ice cream with her front teeth. I shudder.
“How can you do that? Don’t your nerves freak out?” I ask.
She smiles wickedly and does it again.
“Bahh, stop!”
I pull my lifeguarding hoodie tight around my middle, feeling the badge outline against my stomach, and lead all the girls over to the soccer field. When we get there, I start laying out blankets and pillows. Imogen spreads out a sheet and a bunch of campers scramble to grab seats on top of it. Ava starts belting out some Faith Hill song and all the girls join in, staring up at her adoringly.
Ava motions for me to sing, too, but I’m distracted. Cal is over by the fireworks station setting up like this is any other year, any other Fourth of July display. I watch him closely as he heaves equipment over his shoulder and wipes his brow with a rag from one of the pockets in his cargo shorts. He looks around, drinking in camp, and I wonder how it looks from his perspective—if he’s judging all the “richies,” if he’s thinking of himself as Roxwood trash.
Ava comes up next to me and throws an arm around my shoulder. She nods over to Cal. “This town keeps getting smaller.”
“Yup,” I say, not taking my eyes off Cal. “Hard to avoid people.”
“At least you’re getting out of here. Wait—did you ever decide where you’re going next year?” Imogen asks.
I take a deep breath but my tongue feels heavy in my mouth.Now.Now’s the time to tell them everything, to explain that I was lying all those months ago. I wasn’t “waiting to decide” between a few colleges. I still have a semester of high school to retake.
But a bang breaks out high into the sky, and a hush falls over the field. I look upward to see the first set of explosives tear through the night. Ava gasps next to me and takes my hand. Imogen steps back and follows Tommy over to the stables. I glance at Ava, at our fingers intertwined.
For the millionth time this summer, I wonder how big thechasm is between us and think of all the moments we still haven’t shared. Like where she was the night Heller died and what’s going on with her dad. Or what’s going on withme.
