Until finally Rachel stops talking. The room is silent for the first time in hours and I wonder how late it is and what my life will be like in a week’s time.
I heave myself off the couch and shuffle over to the window. The view faces the East River and across the way, little flashes of light shine back at us from Brooklyn. I know there’s no hope of seeing stars here, not with all the streetlamps and the neon billboards and blinking lights aboard the ferries. But like I always do, I look up. Sticking my head all the way out Rachel’s window and turning toward the sky, I try to make out just a single star.
The night stretches on forever and the air is clear and warm. I wait a beat and then another, just hoping for one.
Finally, a cloud sails along an imaginary track to reveal a swath of galaxy visible just for a second. My heart slows to a steady, determined thump.
—
When I finally get home, Jared’s the only one awake, seated at the kitchen island, housing the last of Mom’s eggplant parm straight from the glass dish. “Where’veyoubeen?” he slurs.
“Maybe I should ask you that.” I pull out a stool next to him and grab a fork. I’m so exhausted and drained that the piece of silverware feels heavy like lead.
“Nuh-uh. Mine,” he says, shoving me over with his shoulder.
“No way! I’m starving.” Jared relents and makes room for me in his saucy, cheesy minefield.
“Party tonight?” I ask.
He nods. “Just a lineup.” I let out a snort.Of course.
“Topher’s?”
“Nah. Robert’s. That house is nuts.”
I haven’t been there since last year, but I remember it. All chrome corners and glass edges and uncomfortable furniture not made for actual sitting.
“It got broken up, though,” Jared says. “Robert took his dad’s Lambo for a joyride. Such a show-off.”
“Idiot,” I mutter.
“No kidding. The group thread says he got caught speeding up toward the Mussel Bay tollbooth. A DUI maybe. He’s at county right now.”
“Wait, are you serious?” It’s not a shock that it happened. Just that Jared says this information so nonchalantly, like it’s no big deal, just a bummer they all have to deal with.
Jared nods. “Guess we’ll find out details on Monday.”
I shake my head at the stupidity of all of this, of Robert and the Players.
“I heard you were at the Millers’ today,” Jared says. “Bryce told me. He heard you hanging.”
I nod and force a forkful of food into my mouth. Jared looks at me with bloodshot, half-droopy eyes.
“You guys a thing?” he asks.
I choke back a lump in my throat and stare back down at the layers of eggplant. The cheese on top has chilled, turning into a flat piece of rubber.
“No.”
“For the best,” Jared says. “Henry’s not over you, you know?”
My heart softens and I picture sweet, sad Henry. He was never right for me, but thinking of the look on his face when I broke up with him still breaks my heart.
“Plus, Bryce says Adam’s going through some shit now.”
He pauses but I don’t speak.
“Weird, huh?”
