From brush to waves and dusk till dawn
We rise and fall, like kings and pawns
We’ve read the rules, we’ve learned them well
We’re Players till the end, we yell.
A chill ran down my spine and the sand stretched before us, echoing the chanted words. Wind rustled the tall grass of the dunes and waves crashed onto the shore.
And then Jake spoke. “You have been chosen by this year’s senior class to be Players. But that doesn’t mean youarePlayers. It just means we think you could be. This year you’ll be faced with challenges, some fun, some...not. If you make it through, if you choose to continue, then youwillbe Players. You’ll get access to things you never dreamed about.”
Along the edge of the circle, the other Players nodded their heads in solemn motions. It sounded like Jake was offering us the world.
But what would we have to do to get it?
“You’ll need to prove yourself first,” he continued. “You’ll have to show us you’re worth it, that you deserve this. Those standing before you have gone through it all.” He gestured behind him, eight in each cluster. Shadows danced on their faces. “We’ve worked hard to make this group what it is, to uphold the values and foundation of the Players before us.” He paused and flashed a devilish smile, one that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. “We’ve also had a fuck ton of fun.”
Cheers erupted all around.
“Do as we say, listen to me, your Toastmaster, and you’ll be fine,” Jake continued. “Are you ready?” He raised a plastic cup.
“Yes!” Shaila said. Her voice rang out alone, solid, and bounced against the crackling fire.
“Very good!” Jake said. “You get first sip, then.” He winked at her and I felt the tequila sloshing in my stomach. I snuck a peek at Adam standing next to Rachel, huddled against her for warmth. His cheeks were flushed and I willed him to look myway, to remember we were in this together. But his eyes lingered on Shaila, curious if she would take the bait.
Jake walked toward Shaila and brushed his moppy light brown hair out of his eyes. He handed her a glass jug full of clear liquid. She took a hearty sip but didn’t cough or burp or make any noise at all. “Pretty good,” she said, sending giggles around the circle.
Who is this freshman? The one with courage, they must have thought. I wanted that freshman to be me.
Shaila passed me the jug and I finally felt Adam’s gaze. I sipped and held back disgust as best I could. It smelled like the inside of an ear piercing, and tasted like sweat and salt and my own fluids. I handed it off and felt fire in my lungs. Later, I learned this was our first pop. We had passed.
“Now,” Jake said. “Let’s have some fun. The real shit starts tomorrow.” He lit a sparkler and the Players broke from their rigid lineup. Someone sent a tiny firework into the air and it exploded overhead. The beach was silent for a minute and then a sophmore yelled, “Let’s do it!” Right on cue, the music grew louder, blaring into the night.
“Ready for this?” Adam said into my ear, suddenly by my side. His hair was damp and sand had stuck to the tips. He was the real Adam again. My Adam, with his big, dimpled smile. I nodded and sensed the liquor make its way through my limbs.
“I’m so excited for you,” he said. “C’mon.” He grabbed my hand and led me to a circle of juniors. I was enveloped in a hug so tight I could barely breathe. Before I was released, Adam had retreated to Rachel’s side and slid an arm around her waist. She danced in front of him and laughed as he spun her around. When she saw me staring, she ran over and wrapped her arms around me tight.
“I knew you’d get in,” she said, her voice smooth and electric over the music. “Welcome to the rest of your life.”
“Thanks,” I managed. Her eyes searched mine, and her lips were chapped from the wind. She had tied her hair into a high pony so little wisps of her dark hair fell neatly around her face. She was magnetic.
“Wanna know a secret?” Rachel whispered, leaning into my ear. Her breath was hot on my skin.
I nodded.
“You’re just like me,” she said softly in a maternal voice. “Scared. Young.” My stomach sank. Those didn’t sound like good things. “You’ll survive, though,” she continued. “We’re the strong ones.”
Her words didn’t make any sense at the time, and in an instant she was gone, flitting across the sand to Shaila. They had known each other practically since birth and that night Rachel hugged her like they were sisters. I wondered what secrets they shared.
It was too intimate a moment to watch. I averted my eyes and looked to the sky. The full moon hung as high and big as a ship, directing stars to shine their spotlights brighter on us.
As a kid, I would come to this stretch of beach with my parents to make sandcastles with Jared, pretending we were deep-sea creatures just looking for a gritty new home. We took turns sucking in our cheeks and turning our faces into little fish mouths, pressing our palms out like flippers. We waved to the teenagers in Gold Coast Prep windbreakers arriving just as we were packing up our pails and shovels, dusting the sand off our butts with damp towels.They look so old, I thought. “You’ll be them one day,” my mom had said as if she read my mind. But at the time, that seemed impossible.
EIGHT
“JARED!” I YELLwhen I swing open the door. It’s almost noon and I’m famished, even after polishing off half a pizza at Nikki’s last night, and another slice this morning. When no one answers I run up the stairs and knock on his bedroom door.
“Come on!” I call. “Wake up.”
