They did, I admitted begrudgingly.
“Well, okay then.”
Now at Diane’s, Adam stretches his arms behind him and leans back against the booth. I feel a pang of disappointment as he pivots the conversation away from college and to the Players. “So, whenareyou picking newbs?” he asks.
“In a few weeks, I think.”
“Our bros gonna do it?”
I fight the urge to chew on my fingernail. I don’t want to have to explain to him why I don’t want Jared to be involved. Even with ensured grades, the entry into another world, the deafening fun, I don’t want him to go through it, to jump through a bunch of stupid hoops just to prove he can.
Part of me, though, knows the real reason why I don’t wanthim to be a Player. I don’t want him to know what we’ve done.
“Maybe,” I say. “We’ll see.” Diane plunks our plates down in front of us and my stomach growls at the beige mountain. Pancakes flop on top of hash browns and eggs. Sticky logs of browned meat poke out from beneath the pile.
“Your highness,” Adam says, folding his hands in a prayer formation. “I’m not worthy.”
“Oh, shut it,” Diane says, swatting his palms down. “I’m impervious to that Millah charm.”
When she walks away, I know it’s time. “I have to tell you something.”
Adam takes a bite and swallows. His lips are shiny with grease and I want to lick them clean. He cocks his head to one side, permission to continue.
“I got a bunch of weird texts,” I say. My heart beats at a threatening pace. “From Rachel.”
Adam drops his fork. “What?” He swallows. “Show me.”
I pull out my phone and hand it to him, watching as he scrolls through the messages.
“This is so typical,” he says, shaking his head.
“It’s nothing, right? There’s no way she’s telling the truth. This is batshit.”
Adam slides my phone across the table and leans back against the booth. “Rachel is nuts.” His voice cuts the air between us like a knife. “I didn’t want to tell you this but she sent me a text like this over the summer.”
“Really?” I ask, stunned. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“I didn’t want you to get upset. I know how this stuff affects you. Shaila and everything.”
My eyes sting and I shake my head. Her ghost iseverywhere, even between us at Diane’s Diner. Adam reaches out and puts his hand over mine. “Just don’t let her get to you, okay? She’s looking out for her brother, not you.”
I nod. “You’re right.”
“Gotta pee,” Adam says sheepishly. He slides out of the booth and disappears into the bathroom.
I blink back tears and spin my head to face Shaila. Her wide, freckled face smiles out from the frame. She had no idea what was coming, what we would be asked to do, or how it would all end. I didn’t know that would be her last night, that it would be marked by crashing waves and warm vodka. Flecks of sand settling on my lips. A crackling scream. Fists clenched around sheets. My frizzy hair, unruly and alive. Darkness. Absolute darkness.
“You okay?” Adam returns and rests a hand on my shoulder. I manage a nod. “It’s going to be okay, Jill. I promise.”
He’s never let me down before. He’s always saved me in the end.
“Let’s just leave it in the past, okay? You’ve got the best year of your life in front of you.”
“Okay.” I offer him a small smile.
I don’t want her to fade, but Adam is right. Itisin the past. Shaila is gone. And a bunch of insane texts from her killer’s sister won’t bring her back.
—
