Audrey stares at me for a long time. She finally says, “What if it gets worse?”
We go our different ways, and the thoughts twist in my mind until they cloud my vision. Before I know it, I’ve tripped on something, landing hard on my shins. I look up, cheeks smarting, to find Mason smirking down at me.
“Look where you’re going,” he says, and walks away.
Another shade of apprehension drips into my anxiety. My humiliation the other day was just the beginning. It doesn’t matter there are police here. They’ve tested the boundaries of how far they can go, and there were no consequences.
I pick myself up, ignoring everyone around and the pain in my knees before going to class.
Jamie stares at me for a long time after I tell him about Alexis’s threat.
“She can’t do that,” he finally says, horror coating his words.
“It feels like she can.” I lay my head against the wall, closing my eyes. We’re in the art studio, sitting across from each other. A headache blooms from the center of my brain. My shins are somewhat scraped, but my pride has taken the biggest hit. You’d think after everything that’s happened to me, my pride and dignity would be stripped down to nothing. But that’s what I fiercely try to protect the most. Even with my torn hijab raised as a flag and my humiliation branded on my cheeks, I have kept my dignity. I’d sooner die than let racists have control over it.
“Fine, if it comes to it, then I’ll go with you to the principal and tell him you were with me the whole time,” Jamie says, clutching his bent knees tightly. “They have security cameras all over the school; let’s see them find you there.”
I smile at him. “Thank you,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “Not doing it to be thanked.”
“I know.” I think my heart is healing. I think I can be stronger than what’s happened. I think I can live beyond it. Find the joy and the colors. “But I was never really someone who people wanted to protect. So this means a lot to me.”
His gaze crumples with sadness. “I wish I knew you back when we were younger. Maybe we’d have been classmates from first grade. I’d have tried to borrow your crayons, and you’d have smacked my hand.”
I laugh. “But I would share them after you brought a lamb to show-and-tell.”
He grins. “I actually did that.”
“What?” I groan. “Now I really do wish we were in the same school.”
“Still a possibility in your future,” he says, and I become warmer under my uniform. “Not the school. The farm.”
I stare at the space between us. “You’ve invited me already.”
“And I’ll keep doing it until you come.” He stretches his arms.
And I think, yes, my heart feels like it’s healing.
Bloodred
Before last period, I tell Jamie I need to borrow a book from the library, and he tells me he’ll save us two seats in our class.
It’s when I’m walking down the hallway that I let my guard down. My mind full of possibilities that grow from improbabilities. The torn hijab, the missing sketchbook, the dirty gym clothes, and the laughter still hurt, but hope is trying to burst with color inside me.
A door opens as I’m walking by an empty classroom, and I’m suddenly shoved inside, nearly losing my bearings. The door slams shut, and my breaths cut off with it.
Nicole stands in front of the door, flanked by Hayley and Alexis, while Jenny stands a little farther off with an anxious expression.
“What the hell?” I snap.
“Alexis told us everything,” Nicole says, nostrils flaring. Her black hair is sleek, pulled into a high, tight ponytail, and there’s a red shadow along her eyes.
I stare at Alexis, who has the decency to look somewhat guilty.
I fold my arms to steady myself. “And what? You’re the school’s vigilantes now?”
Nicole flushes and steps closer. “I don’t like you, Jihad. And notbecause you’re poor or Muslim or any of the stuff you told Alexis you thought was the reason. I don’t like you, because you’ve been weird ever since you got to this school. And I have no idea what you said to Jamie to fool him. Now, I don’t know if it’s because your mother was murdered and you feel like you want to take it out on us, but that’s not going to happen.”
