Daisies. Daisies. Daisies, I recite to myself, steadying my hand.
“What are you doing?” Kenan says hoarsely.
“I need to find out where the shrapnel is.”
Lama continues to scream, but I can’t stop. I must feel the edge of a metallic object pushing against my hand.
“You’re hurting her!” he yells.
I silence him with a look I learned from Mama. “You think I want to do this? I need to find out where it is!”
He goes quiet, but I can see the fire raging in his eyes.
“She has bruising and stitches everywhere. I can’t make out which the shrapnel is responsible for. That iswhyI’m doing this.”
He nods, his face white as a sheet.
“Lama, you need to tell me when the pain is worse, okay? You’re so brave, and I know you’re going to be strong now too. All right?”
She squeezes out a few more tears before nodding again.
“Good girl.”
I press gently, making a line down her stomach. She grits her teeth and doesn’t scream anymore, but her breaths come out in short bursts until I reach just below her belly button.
“Here!” she shrieks.
I immediately stop. I felt its edge before she told me.
“Good job, Lama.” I breathe in, trying to make my tone lighter. “You’re amazing. Now all that’s left is to get the shrapnel out.”
“Do it,” Kenan says.
“I just—” I swallow the acid in my mouth and look at him. “It’s going to be a bit difficult.”
“Why?”
I shake my head.How do I say this?
“I need—”
“You need to cut into her stomach, and there’s no anesthesia.”
“Yes,” I whisper.
Kenan runs his hand through his hair and over his face, torn.
“I need to do this right now. Before the shrapnel moves and ends up God knows where.”
His breathing shatters.
“Do it. We have no choice. Just do it.” His tone is as pained as his sister’s.
“Get her something to bite on.”
He takes off his belt.
“Lama, I’m so sorry. I know you’re in pain, but you can do this. I’m here. Your brothers are here.”
