Nina bent and scooped the achilla from the floor and shoved it at him. “Put it back on,” she said, shaking it for emphasis.
“Nina, I told you that—”
She shook her head. “Nothing can be amiss,” she said. “No one can know that you have placed your loyalty elsewhere.”
His hands shook as he reached out and took the achilla, Nina’s attention on him like a weight rooting him to the spot. The moment it was back in place, that pressure lifted, but it wasn’t relief he felt. It was dissatisfaction. As if a hole had been carved into his soul and left empty.
Nina watched him closely, her eyes darting over his features, looking for something he hoped she could find. “You would leave everything you know, everyone you love, risk everything you have”—she gestured to the room and the space beyond—“for a stranger?”
“You are no stranger, Nina” he said gently. The truth of it tasted exquisite on his tongue. He stepped closer. He ached to reach out and press his words into her chest. “My soul recognized yours the moment I laid eyes on you. I don’t know what it is, if it’s your attay, if it’s fate or a cruel joke, but I know that it does not matter. You have become a part of me, and I cannot bear to lose any more pieces as it is.”
There was a moment when Nina placed a hand over her mouth and turned away, where Kasik was certain he’d said too much. That everything he felt was his own delusion, a life-altering mutation of his soul that had begun the moment he saw the stubborn set of her jaw and the careful hope in her eyes.
Nina would deny him. She would swallow his words and spit them back out because she didn’t need him. She had made a plan that didn’t include him. She had found a way to save herself.
Kasik would accept her decision regardless. It wouldn’t change the fact that he would help her, that he would rather die than watchherdie, that he would do anything just to ensure that what had happened to his mamay wouldnothappen to her—
“All right.” The words were a whisper through her fingers but a knife through his spiraling thoughts. A sliver of hope among a sea of uncertainty, and he held on to it for dear life. “I’ll go with you. But you have to promise me that—”
“Anything,” he gasped, striding forward, desperately closing the space between them. Thrilled at the way she lifted her head to meet his gaze, her neck exposed to him, the pulse there fluttering quickly. He was glad to know that he was underneath her skin just as much as shewas underneath his. “I will make any promises you ask of me. My will is yours.” He slid a hand to the back of her neck to support her head, felt the moment she fully let go and saw the way her eyes fluttered with relief. If she let him, he would carry all her burdens, no matter how heavy.
For now, he was grateful for this small measure of concession. The feel of her breath coasting across his lips was like the sweetest surrender he would ever have the privilege of knowing.
“Once you’re safe,” he murmured into her lips, “I’ll find Samaq and my men and—”
“Samaq?”She slipped out of his touch, the loss of her like a bucket of cold water over his head. Her hands were fisted in his tunic as she held him at arm’s length. “What do you know of my brother?” she asked sharply, bewilderment lining her brows.
Her question was cut off by knocking at the door. They flung apart just as it opened and Empress Chaska breezed through. The smile on her face fell the moment she laid eyes on them. She looked at Kasik’s jaw, then Nina’s bloodied cheek and the dress she wore.
“Well,” she said after a moment, arms folded against her chest. “If you’re going to sneak around, at least wait until the cover of night.”
“A lot of good that did you,” Kasik replied dryly.
Kasik felt Nina’s questioning glance, but Chaska practically rolled her eyes at him. “We have things to do,” she said pointedly.
“Right.” Kasik reluctantly turned to Nina. “Empress Chaska is going to escort you to Master Wara. I have a few things to attend to, but I’ll see you tonight.”
It felt wrong to leave her; everything else felt trivial in the wake of what they planned, but it was important to keep up appearances. To continue to be the obedient walla they knew him as.
Soon enough, the bars of his cage would no longer contain him.
39
With the eyes of the empress on her, Nina was acutely aware of her own rage. The injustice of it all was maddening. That she had been brought there against her will, torn from her family and forced to give up everything and everyone she loved, just so that they could build their empire.
Andshewas the monster?
Nina replayed every conversation, every look passed between walla and kunay, kunay and emperor, emperor and empress, empress and mamakuna. Who knew the truth of her fate? Who had been lying directly to her, stuffing her with luxuries while leading her to slaughter?
She had fallen right into their trap. Had been acquiescent and loyal to her vow. As if anyone’s vow had ever meant anything at all. Not even the gods had helped her—if anything, they had allowed her to find this place, become this person, succumb to this fate.
And Nina refused.
No longer would she hold herself to their impossible standards. No longer would she try to meet their incredible expectations. Kasik had asked her to leave with him, to wash her hands of murder and revenge and power, and she would do it, if only to take control of her story once again.
Empress Chaska poured their tea while Nina tried not to fidget. Every moment of silence felt like a death knell. The longer they stayed, the more opportunity there was for things to go wrong. But Kasik had been right—if Inti Raymi celebrations at the kancha were anything like theywere at home, then there would be plenty of distraction. They could not afford to be reckless in this.
Nina had already seen her impetuousness cause problems. Had she not tried to trick the emperor, Taruc might still be alive. As much as she wanted to be free, she didn’t want anyone else to die. She could leave and hide and finally put all this behind her.
