If so, then so be it. He had carved this path with his own two hands and there was no evading it.
Nina snatched the knife from him. Her feet slid apart to shoulder width, and she bent her knees the tiniest bit. Kasik ignored the throbbing in his back and met her stance, waiting for her to make the first move.
When she did, he was surprised at her speed and commitment. If he had been one heartbeat slower, she might have actually stabbed him, but he dodged sideways at the last moment and pushed her arm away. She whipped it right back, her moves sloppy but fast, her whole body lunging at him with each jab and swing of her arm.
Impressedwasn’t the right word for what he felt—more likeinspired. That tenacity he had seen in her eyes when they first met was dripping from her every move, and it reminded him of how he had felt just a few years ago, the determination to serve his emperor and empire fuel behind his every action.
Somewhere along the line, he had become jaded, numb to the convictions of his heart, and as Nina split open the skin of his forearm, a tiny slice that barely bled, he vowed to try to be just as steadfast as her.
They had both been caught off guard by her minute victory, and he used her shock and imbalance to his advantage. He trapped her arm beneath his and then twisted so that the knife was pointed away from him, and her back was against his chest.
“I win,” she said brightly.
“You surprised me,” he said through a smile. “But you haven’t won just because you landed a single scratch.” He moved his lips to whisper into her ear. “It would take nothing but a pulse of pressure to turn this knife and put it through your heart.”
“But you can’t,” she said smugly. “Or else you’d have to remove your own head, just as you removed the head of the man who gave me this bruise.”
The reminder of who he served and why he was there was a punch to the gut.
Kasik swiftly removed his arms and the weapon from her hands. She stumbled forward out of his grip and whirled around to face him. “I won that fair and square.”
Shaking his head, he scooped up his shredded tunic and bow and arrow, wincing as he spoke. “There is no such thing as fair.”
14
Somehow, Nina had convinced Kasik to let her keep watch, and the forest was beginning to lighten with the morning sun. Kasik had fallen asleep quickly and was still asleep. If she was more vindictive, she could have leaned over and stolen the knife from his boot while he slept. Perhaps stabbed him in theheart.
But she wasn’t vindictive, and she couldn’t muster enough indignation over his refusal to give her a weapon because he was right—she probablywouldmanage to hurt herself. It seemed that everything that had gone wrong in her life thus far was her fault.
First, Samaq had been taken only weeks after she had saved Sacha from drowning. Then, Nina had been taken weeks after she almost took the lives of those boys. But she couldn’t find a common thread, and it felt like the gods were pulling on invisible strings, guiding her this way and that. She wondered if they found amusement in watching mortals scurry around like ignorant ants.
She plucked a leaf from a nearby bush and tore it to pieces. They fluttered to the ground, and she plucked another. There was a pile of broken leaves collecting in the center of her crossed legs.Fitting, she thought. It resembled the pieces of her life.
A noise from the shadows stilled her hands. She listened intently, but a moment passed and there were no other sounds beyond the normal melody of the forest. She was simply on edge, waiting for some other creature from legend to jump out of the trees and devour her whole.
All because Kasik wouldn’t give her his knife.
Nina surged to her feet and started pacing. There were so manyquestions she wanted to ask her mamay. So many things that simply did not make sense. They had hidden when the Harvest came every year. Was it because her mamay couldn’t bear to part with her remaining children, or was there more to it?
Why did they continue to serve a god who had, according to Kasik’s story, gone mad?
And most importantly, why did Nina feel like there was something vital her parents were keeping from her?
It was strange to consider that the people she trusted most in life might have been lying to her all along. If she kept thinking on it, she would work herself into a frenzy.
The river was close enough that she heard it gurgling, and she found herself walking toward it before she could decide if it was a bad choice. She needed to clear her head more than ever.
Everything felt out of control and entirely unfair.
There is no such thing as fair.Nina didn’t disagree, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t lament over it.
She parted the thick brush quietly and carefully to avoid waking Kasik. His wound looked less inflamed this morning, but it also had thin streaks of black creeping along the edges. Nina knew it wasn’t dirt. She had cleaned it more thoroughly than she had ever cleaned anything. They would just have to keep an eye on it and continue applying the paste and hope it didn’t get further infected.
When Nina finally reached the water, she dove in without hesitation, surprised that the weight of her worries didn’t immediately drown her. But the water did exactly as she had hoped—it cleared her mind, silenced the doubt and the uncertainty and grounded her in the present. In the vow she had made to take her sister’s place.
It was the only thing that mattered. Though she might not have expected it to go so far, to be summoned to serve the emperor so closely,she would do whatever was necessary to see her vow through. And then she would see her family again.
Nina emerged from the water feeling invigorated. Her purpose clearer. As she shook out her days-old braids and carefully untangled the leaves and knots, she allowed herself to consider what would be expected of her. Not only as a servant to her vow, but as a wife to the emperor.
