There, in the center of Kasik’s back, was a point of golden light, so faint it was almost invisible. If she looked away again, it would disappear. She had to strain her senses to see, tofeelit, a tiny piece of something at once familiar and foreign that whispered softly to her soul.
It was the same light that had danced in those boys’ chests back home. The same one she had been lured to like a moth to flame.
The memory became clearer then. How she had been at first confused, and then concerned, and then coerced to reach out a hand and call the light toward her. How it had obeyed easily. How she had squeezed it in a fist and felt the breadth of their lives leaking through her fingers.
Now it was there again, and it called to her all the same.
Attay, her heart whispered.
When she brushed her mind against it, Kasik came to an abrupt stop and turned sharply toward her. His umber eyes narrowed as they took her in. “Are you all right?” he asked.
But Nina wasn’t paying attention to the way he slowly closed the space between them and then clasped her chin between his fingers, his gaze inspecting her face. With a shaky hand, she reached for his light and firmly pressed her palm over the center of his chest.
It jumped with a gasp. She wasn’t sure what it felt like to him, but to her, it felt like holding her hand over a fire. Like burning potential and endless possibility.
The intensity terrified her. She shot her eyes to his, wondering if he felt anything at all, but he was watching her intently, gaze darting from her eyes to her mouth, the space between them narrowing with every inhale.
There was a war within Nina. Part of her hoped for him to come nearer, for his breath to mingle with hers, to feel his lips and taste his mouth. The other part of her longed to grasp his light and twist, to watch with glee as he knelt at her feet and obeyed her every command.
The urge was sudden and slippery. There one moment and gone the next, along with that golden thread.
All that was left behind was confusion and worry and exhaustion. “I’m just tired,” Nina said, her voice ragged as she forced herself to take a step away.
Kasik nodded, and finally the weight of his gaze left her. “We’ll rest as soon as we find water.”
It was the truth. Nina was more tired than she could ever remember being, and not just physically, but mentally. Every shadow in the forest was a creature waiting to feast on her bones. Every thought in her mind was an enemy trying to coax her. She couldn’t trust her own desires that prodded her toward kissing the kamayuq who had taken her captive.
Or killing him, if she inspected that dark whisper in the far recesses of her mind that told her his death would solve all her problems.
If Kasik was dead, she could go back home, the emperor none the wiser. She could convince her family that they could find somewhere else to live, far from the reaches of duty and responsibility and fate.
But she was afraid the vow to the kunay would sit like an omen over her head. That he would never stop searching for her if she disappeared, and what was she if not loyal to her own word?
The gods had heard her vow and they would favor her if she kept it. Nina forced herself to believe that as she blindly followed Kasik through the forest and toward her future.
They heard the stream before they saw it, a gentle gurgle of water that sent Nina running through the dense trees. Kasik called after her, but his voice was light, a soft warning that fell on deaf ears. Her sole purpose was to sink her head beneath the surface and let it wash away the stink of the last several days.
When the stream came into view, it did not disappoint. It sparkled in the afternoon light, flowing gently in a direction she couldn’t discern nor cared to consider. She didn’t stop running until her feet hit the water. It was icy cold, and it stole her breath, and still she dove as far as she could.
Nina had never felt anything more exquisite. The small injuries covering her body went numb. She sank to the silty bottom where she allowed the weight of the water to suffocate all her thoughts for just a few moments.
The air was warm when she popped up for a breath. Kasik sat on a large rock by the shore, his eyes pinned to her. She smiled and threw a handful of water his way.
“Come in,” she called to him. The water had left her feeling invigorated, freer than she could ever remember feeling.
“In a moment” was all he said.
Nina shrugged and sank beneath the surface again, this time swimming along the floor to find the deepest part of the stream. At home, her room was full of prizes she had plucked from the ocean floor while Sacha watched from shore. Shells in pinks and oranges, flat and circular, large and small. She would place them in a bowl and weave the smallest and brightest into her sisters’ hair. Lali always lost hers, but Sacha treasured them, carefully reattaching them if they came loose.
Nina was pulled into a memory of the last time they had swam together.
Mamay always told them to stay near the shore, but Nina was a strongswimmer. She would swim outfarther and fartherevery time, just to see how far she could go. Nina wasn’t worried that Sacha would follow her. Her sister always stayed on the shore with her feet firmly planted in the sand.
Except this time, she didn’t. Nina stared out at the horizon with a smile on her face.
How vast the world was. How exciting to consider what was on the other side.
When she turned to wave at Sacha, her sister was nowhere to be seen. A surge of water came and swallowed Nina. She ducked underneath just asTaytahad taughther, andwaited until the white foam passed to come up again. Her vision blurred as water dripped into her eyes. Perhaps that was why she still couldn’t find Sacha on the shore. It was just as hermamayalwayssaid—Ninaneeded to pay better attention.
