“?‘Trained’?” She said the word as if it were a curse. “I wastakenfrom my family just weeks ago. The only thing I’m trained for is caring for our cornfields and my sisters.”
Kasik closed his mouth, swallowing the retort on his tongue. It explained why she was older than he had expected, and wilder, as if she had different expectations on her shoulders. Perhaps they had given him the wrong girl. But no, the matron had read the emperor’s missive and she had made it clear that she would have given him any other girl if allowed.
“You are who I have been sent for. The emperor was very clear.”
“And I’m expected to simply”—she paused, as if searching for a word—“obey? He can find another girl. There were plenty to choose from. In fact, I know a girl who would be perfect for the role. Pious, dutiful, quiet,” she said with a wince.
The rain had grown stronger, and they were yelling to hear each other over it. Kasik tried to think of words that would settle her, tried to put himself in her position, but he failed to understand her hesitance. “You are who he chose, Nina. This is a great honor.”
But Nina wasn’t listening. Her wild eyes surveyed the small space,then the woods past them, as if contemplating her escape. “This is a mistake. This can’t be—”
“The emperor does not make mistakes.”
“I doubt that,” she insisted.
“You will be well taken care of. All your wants and needs will be met. You are acting as if this is a death sentence. It will—”
“Death would have been preferrable tothis,” Nina spat.
“You’re being unreasonable.”
“?‘Unreasonable’? I was forcibly taken from my home, made to fear for my and my sisters’ lives, caged behind stone walls, and then thrown into a cell without food or water, and now I am told that I am someone’sproperty.Iam the unreasonable one?”
“The emperor has saved you from that fate. He has chosen you, thegodshave chosen you. This is aprivilege.”
“This is a gildedcage.”
At some point in the conversation, they had turned to face each other fully. Kasik’s back was to the opening of the small cave, and the watery light lit Nina’s face. Her lips were pursed, and her brows were furrowed angrily. A drop of rain hung off the tip of her nose.
Kasik took several deep breaths. If he opened his mouth, he would shout, or he would apologize, or he would say something stupid about the way her eyes held his gaze so fiercely.
The silence between them was thick enough to take up space. It might push him out of their cover, if he allowed it.Shemight push him out if he wasn’t careful. “Everything is a cage,” he finally said quietly. “Gilded is better than not.”
The concept of bars around his life wasn’t foreign to him. Kasik lived his life within a strict set of expectations, most of them there because of the choices he had made, all of which erected a new bar. A new boundary.
There were the expectations of his tayta, who he disappointedat every turn, no matter how hard he tried not to. And then there was his emperor, who demanded his loyalty without question. Samaq, who expected nothing, which made Kasik want to give him the best bits of himself. And Master Wara, who treated Kasik as though he was capable of so much more than even Kasik believed.
All of it a weight around his shoulders. Shackles around his feet. Oftentimes, it felt like the walls of the kancha were closing in. But it was his duty. Everyone had a role to play in the empire. Why did Nina believe it was acceptable to shirk hers?
“This cage is of your own making,” she replied, as if she had heard his thoughts. “It appears I won’t have that sameluxury. Only those your emperor has decided to hoist upon me.”
Kasik stilled at her dangerous words. There was no one else to hear them, but sentiments carried far and lines were easily crossed in the wrong company. “Be careful, Nina. He isyouremperor as well.”
At his tone, she abandoned whatever else she was going to say and leaned against the rock wall. Only then did he realize that he was no longer cold. In fact, he was sweating underneath her scrutiny.
“He must pay you well for this caliber of loyalty.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Murder, abduction—what other atrocities have you committed in his name?”
Kasik’s heart was beating fast. The air was too warm to breathe, and Nina’s judgment was too heavy to bear. “That’s none of your concern,” he replied shortly.
“That’s what you believe, right? Even though this ismylife,myfreedom—that it’s none of my concern?”
“You act as though you will have no freedom whatsoever. He isn’t stripping you of your will.”
“He may as well be. That’s the point that you are refusing to see.”
They both fell quiet, chests heaving as if they had been runningacross valleys. The quiet of their alcove magnified their anger, their differences and disagreements. Kasik was loyal to the emperor and the gods. Nina was loyal to no one but herself, it seemed. She couldn’t be argued with, and it was a waste of his time to try.
“We’ll start moving again as soon as the rain stops.”
