“Liv ...didsomething happen with Talia?” When Lou repeats the question, I have no choice but to respond.
“Nothing happened with Talia,” I say as I take out the second pan. “Except for my oldest friend telling me she thinks I am too negative, focus only on worst-case scenarios, have purposely scared off every guy I’ve ever dated, and has apparently felt this way for years,” I add, slamming the third and final pan down onto the cooling rack with—perhaps—slightly unnecessary force.
When I turn around to face them, both Lou and Hunter are staring at me. Lou is startled; Hunter looks alarmed.
“Granted, I’ve only known you for a few weeks,” Hunter speaks first. “But I’m not sure those are fair accusations.”
“Thankyou!” I exclaim, throwing my hands up in the air. “At least one person doesn’t think I’m some sort of walking, talking, self-destruct button.”
But my victory is short-lived because Lou doesn’t agree with him. She doesn’t say anything at all. When I pin her with a questioning look, she glances away.
“Lou?” I say.
She inspects her perfectly manicured fingernails.
“Louise.”
She flinches.
“Do you ...agreewith Talia?” I feel like all the air in my lungs is being sucked out. My stomach acid returns with a vengeance.
“Look, Liv ...” She finally meets my gaze. “I don’t agree with how you put it. But Tal and I have talked about it a few times. Youdohave a hard time believing you’re going to be okay long-term—which I get! It must be so scary. I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to not know if you’ll be able to have a family or see them grow up and have kids of their own. And I can see why that would make it hard to let yourself get too far into a relationship. But yeah ... you’ve kind of, sort of pushed away any guy who has ever gotten too close to you.”
I swallow hard, my teeth clenched.
“Please, don’t hate us, Liv! You know we both love you. And we just want what’s best for you. And maybe we’re both seeing it wrong and—”
“Do you like bread, Hunter?” I spin to him, turning my back on Lou.
His eyes are wide and apprehensive. “Uh, yeah, I like bread.”
“Great. You can have both of those loaves, but only if you don’t share with Louise—I’d hate for her to choke on my emotional baggage. The other one’s mine. I’ll be in the shower, wondering how I managed to turn ‘Hey, I might die young’ into the ultimate dating red flag.”
“Liv,no, that’s not—”
I hold up my hand, and Lou falls silent. Then I rush out of the kitchen and up the stairs and lock the door behind me in the bathroom. Only when I’m in the shower do the tears break free, sluicing down my face. The running water washes the evidence of my grief and betrayal away as quickly as it can fall.
21.
The bell above the bakery door jingles, but I’m finishing writing down an online order. “I’ll be right with you,” I call out.
“Wow, Liv, you look like crap.”
I drop my pen and squeal because Cory is standing on the other side of the counter. My brother is no longer the little boy playing video games in the background of a phone call with my mom or throwing sand at me on the beach. He’s well over six feet tall, with a teasing grin, glinting blue eyes that match my own, an ASU sweatshirt, and worn-out, faded jeans. He leans over to hug me across the glass. Sometimes, it still blows me away that my little brothers are both grown-up men now.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be studying for finals?” I ask.
Cory’s in his senior year of his undergraduate, getting a degree in biology with plans to continue on to PT school to work with athletes.
“Yep, and I needed some brain fuel. I thought I’d come by, visit my favorite sister, and snag a few treats for my study group.”
“Youronlysister,” I point out, and he shrugs.
“True. If Cameron had been a girl, you would have been second place, for sure.”
“That’s okay, he’s my favorite too.”
“Ouch.” Cory traces anXover his heart.
