“So I was going to get you a golden pothos because I read they mean something about longing and perseverance, but it didn’t have a flower, so I passed. And I came across this one plant that had the perfect meaning, but every florist in New York City laughed when I asked for it. Fuck if I remember what it was called now. Then I was thinking tansy, because it means ‘I declare war on you’ in flower language, and I was preparing this wholePirate Dukevessel analogy, but that’s not the most romantic thing. So I got you this. It’s a sunflower.”
I have been struck dumb. At my silence, Jack blanches—and for once, I let him do the babbling. “It means adoration. Going the distance. Loyalty. Penny, I swear, the Anna stuff… And I shouldn’t have said that about you. About your mom. It’s eaten me up inside not being able to tell you—”
“I believe you.”
That brings him up straight. “Okay.”
I move past him to close the door, slowly. And I turn to face him, my hands twisting in front of me. I’m quaking inside, a full cast of feelings jostling for center stage.
He still wants me.
Still cares.
Never stopped.
Bought my apartment.
He’s right there, holding a sunflower, and he’s perfectly imperfect—my villain and my white knight all wrapped up in one. I just have to reach out and tell him.
But the things I want to say, they’re jammed up. I watch the concern growing in his gray eyes. He sets the plant down and shoves a hand through his hair, anxiety threaded through his every movement. “Just spit it out. You’re killing me here.”
“Don’t rush me,” I snap.
He holds up his hands, his expression immediately conciliatory. I almost laugh. It’s enough to loosen my tongue. “I— You’re right. I love this apartment. I think you know what it means…what it meant to me. But…I’ve moved on.”
I’ve never seen Jack—supremely cool, confident, amused and detached Jack—ever look so crushed. He quickly blanks his face after a glance at the boxes behind me, and I panic, kicking myself. I can never find the words when I need them.
“No! I mean…that place. Home. Is… I’ve started to think that home is wherever you are.” I wave away his words when he starts to talk. “And I don’t want you walking on eggshells, worried that if you say the wrong thing I might bolt. So… I did a thing. I got my raise, I fucking demanded it, and I… Well, I kind of hoped you’d move in with me inyourapartment. Which I signed the papers for. Yesterday.”
Jack pinches the bridge of his nose. “You gave up your place for me.”
“Yeah.”
“And you bought my place?”
“Yeah.”
“The one I just moved all my stuff out of?”
“Yeah.”
“You couldn’t have grand-gestured mebeforeI schlepped all my crap across town?” he says. I gasp, affronted, and he barks out a laugh. It’s a happy, joyous sound, and he pulls me to him. He smiles down at me with an expression so euphoric, so heart-melting, that I need to remind myself this isn’t somePirate Dukefantasy. Jack captures my face between his hands. “I can’t believe you were going to give up your apartment for me.”
My gaze drops, suddenly shy, then climbs back up to meet his beautiful steel-colored stare. My mouth goes dry, and my palms are damp. I did the thing. Now it’s time for the words. “I love you, you menace.”
His mouth is on mine, and I could weep at the pure joy, the relief that courses through me. He’s not gone. He’s here. With me. And…
I tear my mouth from his. “Well?” I say.
He moves to kiss me again. “Well, what?”
I hold up my hand, pressing it against his face and smooshing it back. “I just used the L-word, and that’s a huge deal for me, and I’m feeling vulnerable right now.” I glare up at him.
“And?”
“Ew!”
He laughs. “What’s not to love about this package?” He waves a hand at my indignant form, then chuckles again when I push him away. “You need to hear it? Fine. You crashed into my life like a literal wrecking ball, made a mess of me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you. Of course I love you.”
