“Not loving living with six kids?” Josie asks.
“They’re fine,” I admit, a little smile playing on my lips. “But I never wanted kids and I definitely didn’t expect to be living with six of them at my age.”
“You don’t want kids?” Savannah asks, her brow furrowed in surprise. “You’re so good with Avery and your nephews.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I love them all. But—” I sigh. It’s hard not to feel selfish or like there is something wrong with me when this topic comes up. So many people can’t fathom a world in which a woman wouldn’t want to procreate. But Savannah and Josie aren’t like that, so I go with the truth. “I’ve just never had the itch. You know how some kids walk around with dolls mothering them?”
Both of my friends nod.
“I carried around a hockey stick.”
Josie snorts. “Yeah, you did.”
Savannah hums as she swigs her wine. Then she sets it down and leans forward. “There’s no right or wrong way to live your life. If you don’t want kids, you don’t want kids. So no single dads, I’m guessing? You should probably put that on the form.”
I bite on my lip. Probably. Because there’s only one single dad I’d ever risk falling for, and I’m doing this precisely so I won’t.
And Avery will still be in my life no matter what. I don’t have to be a mother to care about the children in my life. There are plenty of them around.
This is the right decision.
No single dads, I write in big letters at the top of the form. “There.” I underline it for emphasis.
“Okay, next question,” Josie sings.
It takes us hours to get through the questionnaire. Afterward, Savannah promises that she’ll be in touch regarding it next week. First she’ll write an article that will introduce me to her readers, so I’ll need to come in for a photoshoot.
Looks like I need to talk to Gavin soon. He is my boss, and I don’t want to bring any negative press to the Bolts organization, but I can’t imagine he’ll give me too much shit. Honestly, I think my family will get a kick out of this.
Savannah plans to put together a list of potential dates and promises I can have input. Josie was super excited. She says this is like reality television tinder. I’m not sure how she made that leap but I’m trying not to freak out at the thought of the public being all up in my business.
I may not be a virgin, but I haven’t actually ever dated.
Which is…well, slightly pathetic.
But being a female hockey player, and Beckett Langfield’s little girl, is beyond intimidating. And that’s before my uncles are factored in.
Men don’t even go after me in hopes of meeting my family. The moment they find out I play hockey, the conversation dies.
Though now that I’m coaching instead, maybe that will change.
At least in this scenario, the men Savannah sets me up with will know who I am and what I do before I have to come face to face with them. That means I’ll only go out with men who are genuinely interested.
In theory.
Head tipped back, I take in the dazzling stars and wonder if I’ll ever be able to do it again without thinking of JJ.
Him and his parents’ damn song.
When Winnie and Vivi came home with the kids half an hour ago and the chaos returned, I retreated to the roof. Hope took her girls toher parents’ place for the weekend, so we’re down to three children, but the twins are louder than all four girls combined, so it’s not a whole lot quieter.
The door opens, startling me, and I hold my breath, wrapping the soft blanket tighter around my body. When JJ comes into view, I have to bite back a groan. Of all the people I’m hiding from, he’s number one on that list.
“There you are,” he says.
“Yup, it’s almost like I want to be alone,” I mutter.
Ignoring the comment, he saunters my way, eyeing the bottle of wine and the glass on the table.
