“Yes,” I said. “The one where a woman who had been censored by her husband got a final celebration with her old friends. Doing what they loved. That was a gimmick?”
“Tess,” he said. “C’mon. You know what I mean.”
But in that moment, I didn’t. So, I just started walking.
“Wait a minute!” he said. “Where are you going?”
He started to jog to catch up. I turned around and stopped him in his tracks.
“I don’t want to see you right now,” I said. “Go manipulate someone else into hanging out with you.”
His shoulders dropped and he looked down at the cobblestones. He clearly wanted to be comforted, but I couldn’t do that right now. I had no comfort to give. So, I just kept walking into Ortygia, the historical center of Siracusa. I took deep breaths and tried to forget everything except being here in this present moment.
Everything on the island was quiet. Everyone was taking their afternoon naps. All of the little businesses had closed their metal shutters, and the outdoor displays of Limoncello and foldable chalkboards with seafood specials were safely stored inside.
There were only a few wandering tourists. It was a beautiful place, though. Maybe the prettiest place I’d ever been. A Mediterranean palette of two-story buildings in reds, pinks, beiges, and yellows. The stone facades were chalky like coral, and the balconies were crowded with succulents, spilling over the metal railings. If I squinted my eyes, Icould almost pretend I was underwater. No wonder Jonah romanticized this place.
I kept walking until I hit my first major landmark. The Temple of Athena. It was absolutely massive, bright white and ornate. A sign nearby said it was from the fifth century BC. And it gave way to the smoothest, cleanest public space I had ever been in. I almost felt like I should wipe my feet before stepping onto the time-smoothed stone beneath me.
The sun reflected off the white stone and seemed to create a burst of light around everything. I moved toward a bench on the far end of the piazza. I knew as I approached it that I was going to lose it once I sat down. It was all too much. All of this. I needed to cry or lie down or both.
I got within a foot of the bench when I saw him.
He looked self-possessed, sitting there by himself, sipping an espresso beneath a sign that read “Caffe Minerva.” It wasn’t an exact match, but it was close. He had the tangled blond hair and the glasses. And his body was lanky and lean in dark jeans and a crisp white T-shirt. The café must have just closed, but still, he sat there alone.
The other Jonah.
Right when I was about to take a seat nearby, he finished his coffee and dropped some Euro coins on the table. Then he got up and began to walk away. I wanted to call out tohim, but what would I say? “Hey, you! Stranger! You’re my dead Internet boyfriend’s doppelganger!”
So, instead, I followed him across the piazza to the opening of a narrow cobblestone street. I realized on some level that what I was doing was not rational. The world was telling me to pull myself together and stop acting ridiculous, and I was calmly saying:No, world. Sorry. I will keep at it.
I followed him past more of the colorful two-stories. And as we got closer to the water, I could hear waves crashing against a seawall. A dusty van advertisingBOAT TRIPS TO SEA CAVE!drove by with a small dog in the passenger seat. When we left the narrow road, there were thick palm trees growing crooked along a waterfront walkway. I watched as Other Jonah climbed a set of stairs up to a long lookout over the ocean. I went up the stairs about twenty feet behind him.
Nobody was at the top of the stone platform except for a few tourists spooning icy slushes in the sun. I couldn’t tell if he knew I was there. I watched him without speaking, and he didn’t turn around. We looked out at the same seascape: a foamy swathe of sky-blue water engulfing the rocks of a rugged beach. The waves lapped against a faded pink embankment.
But it was the ground that caught my attention.
LUCA + MARA, I saw directly beneath my feet. The names were written in red spray paint on the light stone, followed byTI AMO.I took a step to the side and saw another piece of graffiti.GIO LOVES GIULIA. There were rows of hearts drawn on the border wall of the lookout along with the occasional smiley face. A nearby bench read:SARAMI AMOREin two-foot tall letters.
The closer I looked, the more layers of graffiti I saw. Some faded messages had been left alone; others had been painted over with a more recent set of lovers.CEASERE + TIZIhad overtakenGIORGIO + PINA. I kept expecting to find lewd messages, or the obligatory penis drawing that always seemed to show up in the States, but there was nothing like that. This was a sacred place.
Other Jonah didn’t seem to care about the messages. He just walked along the seawall, looking out over the water. Then I saw him pull something from his pocket. It was a cell phone, and he looked down at the screen and smiled. He typed something into it. Then he just waited. Ten minutes later, a woman showed up and greeted him with a kiss. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail and she had a camera around her neck.
She looked nothing like me.
I suppose that was inevitable. Why would Other Jonah be with Other Me? Of course, he’d be with my opposite. Still, I felt a pang of disappointment as I watched them pull out a map and point to something in the upper right-hand corner. And when he held her hand and they left the platform, I felt no urge to follow them. I just waved a hello, or maybe a good-bye, and watched them disappear.
Then I was alone on the platform. The other tourists had left, too. Off to take their rest like the locals maybe. I looked again at all the painted proclamations. Then I reached into my bag and dug around, hoping I had what I needed. Down at the bottom, among the cracker crumbs and old lipstick, I clasped a small marker. And when I pulled it out and tested it on the palm of my hand, it bled a dark purple.
I bent down and began writing my name. The wind from the sea sent the excess mist entwining with the salty air, and it felt good against my face. Gradually I made the plus sign along with Jonah’s name after it. But I didn’t stop there. I added one more word to the message. It was one I had seen on many of the others. The word:SEMPRE.I remembered enough of my high school Spanish to take a guess at the meaning. Likesiempre, I thought, it must mean “always.”
My walk back to the beautiful piazza was slow. I wandered the backstreets. I passed a small church called ChiesaSan Leonardo. It sat behind a small rectangular piazza that had been paved in a striking diamond pattern, and the top of the building pinched slightly at the top like a pope’s hat. I kept going until I reached the Piazza Archimede. There was a fountain there made up of men riding sea creatures surrounding Diana, goddess of the hunt. The water cascaded in thin streams around her.
“I’m sorry,” said a voice from behind me.
I didn’t turn around. I just looked more closely at the fountain. There was some kind of a nymph escaping the outstretched arms of a man behind her. Diana stood between them, protecting the young woman.
“Listen. I didn’t mean all of that about your dad. I guess all of this is catching up to me. We’re actually here and I just want to do something great.”
