“Thank you,” I said. “I just need to get my dad, so...”
I started to move forward but she tugged on my shirtsleeve.
“I would like to plan a funeral,” she said.
“Okay,” I said. “My dad has some forms I can leave with you. Maybe you can go over them with a family member.”
“That’s not what I want,” she said calmly.
Dad was looking at us now.
“I would like to have my funeral in two weeks,” she said.
I closed my eyes. I was starting to suspect the woman at the front desk of sabotage. When I opened my eyes again, Mamie Lee was looking right at me.
“I was just admitted here,” she said. “I’m in the early stages, but I’ve seen it move fast, and that’s how it usually works in my family. I would like to have one of your celebration funerals before I’m too far gone. Is that something you can do? Have it while you’re still alive?”
I looked over at my dad. His mouth was open. He didn’t seem capable of providing an answer, which wasn’t surprising.
“Of course!” I said. “We... do that all the time.”
I was not looking at my father now. Only Mamie Lee.
“Do you know what kind of celebration you want?” I asked.
The woman smiled to herself.
“Oh yes, darling,” she said. “I would like a burlesque funeral.”
And then I watched my father’s face turn a shade I had never seen before.
21
“What the hell were you thinking? Saying yes without asking me?”
We were back in the parking lot of Sunrise Commons, watching the fake old people go about their days. Oh, and Dad was kind of pissed.
“Have you had a total meltdown, Tess? Is that what’s happening?”
“I was drumming up business,” I said. “I thought you’d be happy.”
“I’m not happy,” he said. “That room was full of people who barely know their own names. Now a woman wants to have a burlesque funeral. There are some ethical issues to consider here.”
“Oh. You’re ethical now? You were the one who wanted to prey on nursing homes in the first place.I know, Tess. Let’s go to the place where everyone’s slowly dying and sell them some funerals!”
“I’m pretty sure I didn’t say that.”
“Also, Mamie’s different. You heard her describe the situation herself. She’s fine right now.”
“She wants people to take off their clothes at her funeral.”
“We don’t really know the details yet.”
I watched as a robust old man left Sunrise with his golf clubs. He looked like a walking Viagra ad.
“She might have been having a rare lucid day, Tess,” Dad said. “Tomorrow she could wake up with no idea what she said.”
He opened the door to his Volkswagen, but he didn’t get in. He just stood there between the door and the car.
