I opened my mouth to deny it.
“I know the signs,” she said. “I’ve been doing this a while now.”
“What are you talking about?” I said.
She gave me a look that said: Please cut the crap.
“I lost someone, too,” she said.
“What?”
“A child,” she said.
I tried to stay calm, but my palms were starting to sweat.
“About three years ago,” she said.
“How?” I managed.
“She had a genetic disease. Neurological.”
“How old was she?”
“Twenty-two months.”
When she had said a child, she had meant a child.
“Grace,” I said, “I’m sorry. I...”
Her eyes were dry, but her brow was folded tight. She was quiet for a minute. Then she began to speak.
“After it happened, I wanted every happy person in theworld to be as miserable as I was. I wanted everyone to experience a tragedy like mine. Otherwise I couldn’t talk to them again. I couldn’t relate to anything about them.”
“Okay,” I said.
“But a little later, maybe a year or so, I wanted something different. I wanted people to be able to say good-bye the way I had. It was the only good thing, really, that we got to do it on our terms. Someone helped us out, and we kept her at the house. I wanted to help other people in the same way. You came here for business advice, right?”
When she looked at me this time, I wasn’t sure I could keep anything from her.
I nodded.
“Well, that’s the best advice I can give you. Make sure you and your dad are not compromising. Do things the way you want them to be done. The way that feels important and right to you and your clients. That’s all you have. And itcanmake a difference. It made one for me.”
There was a silence after that. And again, I wasn’t sure what to say. I looked at her hands on the desk.
“Is that why you’re not married anymore?” I asked.
She opened her eyes and looked at her ringless finger.
“He wasn’t exactly supportive of the business.”
“Too morbid?”
“Obsessedis the word he used.”
Grace seemed slightly calmer now, but her face was still flushed.
“But I think it’s okay to be obsessed for a little while,” she said. “You can’t just run away from your grief. You have to deal with it head on. No matter how difficult and strange it is.”
