“I guess I thought—”
“No more lies,” I said softly. “If you ever want to talk to me again, which probably isn’t going to happen anyway, you have to tell the truth.”
He took a medium-size pause. Then he said: “I thought I would tell you and then you would love me.”
“That’s it? That’s what you thought?”
“Yes. You would love me or I would end it as Jonah and you would never know.”
“And you would have manipulated me for months without telling me. End of story.”
“Yes.”
“Why did you think that was okay?”
“I didn’t.”
“Did Jonah ever know?”
“At first. But he stopped going online after awhile.”
“Wait a minute. He knew what you were doing and he didn’t care?”
Daniel took a shallow breath.
“He didn’t care.”
It was perfectly clear to me then: I had reached my limit.
“I can’t talk anymore today,” I said.
“Tess.”
“No more. Stop saying things.”
Ten seconds of dead air. Then Daniel spoke again in his soft voice.
“Listen, I have to ask you a question, though. Just one.”
I didn’t answer.
“You could never tell the difference between me and Jonah? You never sensed anything? The whole time?”
I thought of that poor sad man from the TV show. The guy who’d been duped. I closed my eyes.
“I can’t talk anymore today,” I said again.
This time I meant it. And I ended the call.
I didn’t move from the bed when I hung up. I stayed where I was for at least fifteen minutes, the back of my head pinned to the headboard. I was thinking of a moment, one that popped into my mind while I was talking to Daniel.
It was the aftermath of another high school party. One where I had basically been drinking alone in the company of others again—a pattern I’d done little to change since the farmhouse.
I wasn’t drunk, though, when I came home from the party. Just a little buzzed and frustrated. While I was out, Emma had given herself a haircut in the sink. Her blond locks were scattered all over my toothbrush, in my makeup, in a trail across the floor. Outside my window, there was a group of drunk boys tackling one another in the courtyard, calling out homophobic names. I sat down at my computer and dashed off a message.
I’m dropping out. I’m coming to live with you. Get ready.
He always seemed to be close to some device, and it never took long to get a response. This time was no exception.
