“What do you mean?”
“Are we going to ask each other questions all afternoon?”
I smile, then scowl. The way Clarice laughed at Pax’s jokes…ugh.
“Stella,” Kiyoko says gently. “You’re right to see Clarice as a threat to… whatever you and Pax have.”
My brick walls erect here. But I don’t bother denying anything. Kiyoko is too smart for that.
“So you have to choose,” she says. “Revenge or love.”
Love?
The thought of it panics me. No, I can’t have that. Daisy never got that, and I won’t have it, either. We are temporary, after all. I march back inside.
“Okay,” I say. “Six pieces of pie instead of five. Let’s cut Clarice DuBois in.”
Revenge. I choose revenge.
Pax looks incredulous. Is that a hint of hurt I see? “Are you sure?”
“Definitely.”
“Okay.” Pax drops into a chair. “Now. When shall we call on her…?”
I snort.
“What?” Pax asks. His silver eyes dart around the room like sleek fish. He’s playing daft, and I can’t tell if I appreciate the effort or if it angers me.
Kiyoko picks up a sliver of wood and pretends it’s a cigarette.“Mademoiselle DuBois needs proposals,”she says in a fake French accent. We all laugh, except Pax.
“Pax,” William says. He adjusts his spectacles. “You should definitely call on her alone.”
It makes my heart ache, hearing William say this. But he’s right. And I choose revenge.
I finally look up from the floor slats and over to Pax. And oh, God. He’s looking right at me. But rather than looking injured or upset, he’s leaning forward, knees on elbows, and his eyes sparkle with tease. He’s confident he can win Clarice DuBois over at last. He bites his lower lip and dips his chin. He’s asking permission.
Dammit.
I burn with indecision. Perhaps this is Spirit’s way of finally getting me to forgo this whole charade; I simply refuse to let the boy I enjoy looking at to go…persuadeanother woman. Spirit offers me the symbol of balancing scales, swaying up and down.
It’s an infuriating sign, these scales. Far from an answer. One side will most certainly outweigh another. This sign doesn’t even tell me which side is which.
“Yes,” I say at last, hoping I sound casual. “It should definitely be you. Alone.”
I’m straining the cords in my neck, I’m trying so hard to not show any emotion. To prevent myself from shouting,No, don’t go.
His expression changes; he looks surprised. If he expected me to argue that we should all go, he doesn’t know me well. If he expected me to choose love over revenge, he doesn’t know me at all. “Are you certain?”
I’d ask Spirit what I should do, but I of course can’t ask Spirit a damn thing. So instead of listening to my heart, which knows very well how Mlle DuBois will choose to negotiate, I listen to my head.
“Yes, of course,” I say. “We need her,partner. Go.”
I toss back the raw egg and it slides down the back of my throat.
THE HANGED MAN
THE 12TH MAJOR ARCANA CARD
