Silence.
Silence here speaks volumes. Spirit never shuts up. But at this moment, no one chimes in to stop me. I replay Pax’s statements and realize there were no questions asked; this plan of Pax’s was stated with certainty.
Silence is complicity, is it not?
(A question.)
Nirav crosses the room, takes my hand.
“I can do that,” I say. “I can help you destroy him.”
And I will. And I’ll protect my soul in the process. I can do both.
This is my fate, is it not? These strangers whose lives are so quickly becoming intertwined with mine, like the Daisy and the Rose on my placard.
Revenge appears to be my destiny.
THE TWO OF WANDS
A MINOR ARCANA CARD, 2ND IN THE SUIT OF WANDS
A noble looks over their territory and out to the sea. They hold the world in their hands, symbolizing their power.
Upright: courage, daring, decision, duality, potential
Reversed: contradiction, hesitancy, lack of confidence or conviction
Ah, yes. The Two of Wands. Dear Friend, this card reflects that you are now faced with a decision that will impact your long-term direction.
My Stella is practically humming with loss and the desire for revenge. Surely she is meant to mete justice? Why else would the universe bring her and Pax together? I feel her believe this. Could it be that she and Pax were meant to meet for other reasons? No—this does not fit her conceptions, you see. Mete or meet: Stella’s heart is too hardened for the latter, and is perfectly primed for the former.
Dear Friend, here is a secret most clairvoyants won’t admit:
No one can predict the future with certainty. Behavior is predictable but not certain.
When I walk toward Stella’s desire for revenge, the cold, dark metallic shadows swarm my soul, buzzing like a nest of angry hornets. The light that waits impatiently for me to choose love, love, love makes it abundantly clear:
If I decide to help Stella avenge my murder, I am choosing Darkness. But if I choose to move into the light, I leave forever. I cannot continue to guide and protect my little sister.
My Stella is so lonely, and for the first time since I passed, she has people in her life who aren’t merely clients. These people give her what I no longer can.
And I will not lie: I would love to see Max Blanck suffer. I would love to watch him bleed from his eyeballs, gasp for breath, clutch his heart, soil himself in the depths of his fear. Putrid humiliation. Agony.
My own personal Two of Wands also happens to be Stella’s: Can I seek both revenge and love?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
We collect ourselves. Pax has a light, spritzy rose water that smells like standing in the rain when the sun peeks through the clouds, and we refresh with it. Nirav giggles silently when he’s misted, and Pax’s eyes sparkle at his joy. Is there a better emotion than laughter through tears? It is a human rainbow.
Pax dresses and leads us across East Fifty-Seventh to a clean home with a shingle out front: “Miss Beverly’s Home for Girls.” He turns to Nirav. “Follow my lead, okay?”
Nirav works his jaw but nods.
The bell above the door jangles when we enter. A woman—Miss Beverly, I presume—lifts herself off her tufted chair and approaches us. Spirit whistles.
Wowee! Wouldya get a loada this joint!
Fancy place, no? Carpeted floors, electricity… and look! A radio!
