“I don’t need your protection,” I protest, as I always did with Daisy.
And his response isexactlyas hers would be: “I know. But I need to protect.”
I cannot do this.
I relay the message Stead sent: “Your mentor—Stead? He says donotopen this Bureau. It’s too dangerous. It’s a mistake.”
“No.” His silver eyes darken, turning forest green. “You must be mistaken. This was Stead’s life goal. He had a gift himself—he was an automatic writer. He wanted to pour every bit of his wealth into this endeavor. He found comfort in connecting with the Other Side, and he wanted nothing more than to share that. This Bureau was his whole heart.”
The aspic on the plate before me is sausage and boiled egg and gherkins suspended in a yellowish gelatin mold. It quivers with me. I am exhausted after the ordeal of freezing to death alongside Stead. My stomach roils.
And there he is, in the corner of my vision: The man in the wide-brimmed hat. His presence is cold and metallic; screams accompany him whenever he appears. Bile rises in my throat; I blink him away before the sensation of falling overtakes me. Hispresence here, now, must mean that this is not the right choice for me.
I shove my chair backward, and it screeches along the wooden floor. Eyes that have never seen much adversity or strife turn to me, some filled with pity, some with disgust. I’d rather feel the disgust.
“Please excuse me,” I whisper. Pax’s forehead crinkles with worry. I run to the powder room, weaving through tables of prim, pristine diners. Tinkling forks and sweet, high music usher me away from Pax.
A Letter from Emma Stead to William Stead, in William’s Own Hand, on Stationery Featuring the Emblem of the RMSTitanic
14 April 1912
My dearest William—
I know you are in eminent danger, but this is a message that must be shared.
When I left you a decade ago, darling, you thought I was gone from you forever. But I was never so near to you as when I had died.
And oh, what a joy that now you hear! What a delight to talk with you, laugh with you, love with you again. Your hand across the paper, my voice in your ear—with your gift of automatic writing, I talk, you inscribe the message. It fills me with love. All of it—all we are—is love. Love, love, love!
This brought you peace, and you wanted to share this message. When you opened your first bureau inLondon to connect with the dead, I was so proud of you, darling. All the clairvoyants you found and hired, offering so much peace. The London Bureau was a roaring success.
And then you were contacted by the young dead girl—the sweet child Julia. You shared her love with the family Princip, and seeing the peace and joy her brother Pax experienced when you passed her messages along? It gave you the idea: Expand to New York City! The bureau there would be known as Julia’s Bureau, and together with the London office, it would transform the world, would it not?
But you quickly learned: Just as duality exists in the human world—good versus evil—so it exists in the spirit world. There is light, and there is dark. You learned that if you explore the spiritual world, you WILL ENCOUNTER DARK SPIRITS.
And encounter them you did. Oh, I tried to keep the dark spirits at bay. I saw them drawn to your ambition, your wealth. The way their bellies grumbled with deep hunger, the way their greed became an unquenchable thirst. The Dark Ones latched onto your soul, and oh! Your cries of anguish! It nearly tore me in two, watching them terrorize you.
And you. You were never the same. You grew paranoid and angry, lusty and mean.
So the world cannot be transformed in this way, with connections to other realms. You now know that when you open the portal to the Light, the Dark lives there as well.
I implore you not to continue this path. It is dangerous for our souls. If you manage to arrive in New York, you must tell Pax Princip to cease operations immediately. Do NOT open Julia’s Bureau.
JULIA’S BUREAU IS DANGEROUS.
Yours, always, in life and in death,
Your loving wife, Emma
CHAPTER FOUR
I find the powder room and splash cold water on my face. I realize I’m still wearing Pax’s velvet jacket, softer and warmer than I wish it to be. I wriggle to avoid staining it with water droplets. I cannot afford a cleaning bill.
Julia’s Bureau. The warning.Exploration of the other world can be fatal.
I inhale a shaky breath. Even if it were fatal, I’d be with Daisy. I could beg her forgiveness.
My heart floods with warmth at the thought of my own death.
