Rae sat up, but not fast enough.
“Hello,” Ellen said, voice chilled. “You must be Dustin.”
“And you must be the remarkable Ellen.”
“I gave Dustin a scramblette tutorial,” Rae explained. She tried to point to their dishes as evidence, then remembered Dustin had already washed them.
“That’s great, but don’t ruin your appetite for our double date tonight,” Ellen said, emphasizing the phrasedouble date. Having recovered from her own quarter-life crisis, she and Aaron were sturdier than ever. After Rae had canceled on the first double date attempt, Ellen was set on a redo. “You should really start getting ready.”
“Dinner’s not until eight thirty,” Rae said. “It’s barely five.”
“Yes, but you’ll want to wash and dry your hair and everything.”
“Thought I’d just put it in a greasy bun,” Rae said. “Authenticity is my whole value proposition.”
Ellen did not look amused.
Dustin stood up from the couch. “I should get going. Really nice to finally meet you, Ellen. Hope we’ll see each other again soon.”
“I’m sure we will,” was all Ellen said.
Rae walked Dustin to the door and gave him a quick hug, feeling Ellen’s eyes on them. “Have fun tonight,” he murmured, and then he was gone, footsteps too soft to hear descending the stairs.
Rae rounded on Ellen. “What the hell was that? The first time you’ve ever met him and you’re cold as a banker? What’d he ever do to you?”
“Other than lead on my best friend?”
“He’s not leading me on. We’re on the same page.”
“If that page is titled ‘Delusion,’ then yes, I agree.” Ellen disappeared into the bathroom.
“That’s it?” Rae called out. “That’s all you have to say?”
“What do you want from me, Rae?” Ellen shouted over the shower. “To tell you if I think he’s in love with you?”
“No,” Rae said, burning to know.
Ellen stuck her head out into the living room. “He is. But not as in love with you as you are with him.”
“I’m not in love with him,” she lied, hoping the neat sentence would hide the messy truth.
“You spend all your nonexistent free time shuttling back and forth on the L train to see him all the way inBrooklyn,” Ellen said sharply. “If that’s not love, I don’t fucking know what is.”
It was true that the L train was the worst in the city, always over capacity and under construction. Rae couldn’t think of anyone else she’d repeatedly endure the journey for, except Ellen.
“You’re wasting your time,” Ellen muttered, in a tone that indicated that she thought she, too, was wasting her time by pointing this out. “He’s never going to be marriage material, and definitely not before you’re thirty.”
“Yes, he is,” Rae said in a loud voice that she hoped would drown out Ellen’s doubts and any stray ones of her own. “He’s getting better.”
“You need to be out there meeting other people,” Ellen said. “Get some perspective.”
“I already have perspective,” Rae shot back. “I must’ve swiped through at least fifteen thousand dating app profiles, remember?”
“That’s not the same.”
Rae held in her counterargument about how there wasn’t any point in spending her time meeting dozens of other guys when she could be investing it in the one person she knew she’d end up with once Dustin recovered. Ellen wouldn’t follow this nuanced logic, Rae knew. Aaron was the embodiment of emotional availability, and Ellen had taken to finding all sorts of ways to drop comments to Rae about how important that was in a relationship.
It was so easy to have the answers when you weren’t facing the questions yourself, Rae thought, staying quiet so she wouldn’t widen the rift between them.
