“The last person I thought I was in love with I wasn’t,” says Shelly to the night sky, to the invisible new moon. “As it turns out, I was in hate. Which is the opposite!”
“Hate isn’t the opposite of love.”
Shelly pushes herself up on her elbows and peers at Juliana. “It isn’t?”
“Of course it isn’t.” This is a piece of wisdom gleaned from The Lumineers by way of Elie Wiesel. But doesn’t everyone know it? “The opposite of love is indifference.”
“Ahhhh,” says Shelly. She puts her head back down on the pillows. “Indifference. That makes sense. You’re so smart, Jade.”
“Juliana.”
“I like Jade better.” Then Shelly’s breathing becomes deep and even. She doesn’t talk any more. Is Shelly asleep?
“Shelly?” says Juliana.
No answer.
Juliana sighs. She can’tleaveShelly here. Can she? No. It’s too close to the edge of the dock. In just a minute she’s going to wake herup and walk her into the house. She’ll deposit her in a guest room, and in the morning she’ll have Allison drive her home, provided Allison makes it back from her own festivities.
But she won’t wake Shelly just yet. For a little longer, she’s going to sit in the darkness and look out at the green light at the end of David’s dock. She’s going to think about the past, and she’s also going to think about the future, which feels so close.
The opposite of a new moon is a full moon. The opposite of love is indifference. What is the opposite of Shelly? Maybe, in fact, the opposite of Shelly is Juliana herself.
***
Thanksgiving loomed that first year, casting a shadow over much of November, as plans started to take shape. Shelly Salazar’s mom was on a cruise, and her dad was traveling for work, so Shelly was going home with Mary Ann for the long holiday weekend. Kathleen and Bob, dropping by the dorm room on a November Saturday, pre-tailgating before the Virginia Tech game with their old neighbors, inquired about Jade’s plans.
“Heading to Lawrence for the holiday, Jade?” asked Kathleen.
Jade, who was packing her backpack for the library, froze. (She loved the library during football games because everyone on campus was at the game; she practically had the place to herself.) “Maybe,” she said.
“There’s always a seat at our table.” Bob squeezed Jade’s arm. He might’ve done a little pre-pre-tailgating; he seemed a little wobbly. The squeeze was borderline... well, it was fine. It was probably fine.
“Oh, I don’t know—” said Jade. “My family’s not... we don’t really do Thanksgiving.”
“We insist that you join us,” said Bob.
“Absolutely,” said Kathleen. “Don’t we insist, Mary Ann?” MaryAnn was studying her lip gloss with a critical eye in the makeup mirror on top of her dresser.
“Sure, why not?” said Mary Ann.
Mary Ann’s house, obviously, was palatial. All the houses in Weston were palatial, with wide, sloping lawns scraped free from fall foliage. In Mary Ann’s backyard was a pool with a dark green cover pulled tight around it. A lustrous golden retriever named Cinnamon greeted them, then repaired to a plush dog bed that looked more comfortable than the beds Jade had had in her last two foster houses.
Mary Ann’s bed was king-sized and had a daybed next to it with a matching comforter. What would the sleeping arrangements be? On the one hand, Jade had never slept in a king bed, and it looked amazing. On the other, Shelly and Mary Ann were closer than either of them were to Jade, despite Jade’s status as roommate. Jade would offer to take the daybed.
“I’msoexcited for tonight,” Shelly said. She stood in front of Mary Ann’s built-in bookcases, studying the framed photos of her high school friends. Tonight? wondered Jade. Nobody had said anything to her about tonight.
“I’ve been waiting my whole life to be a college kid going out with my high school friends the night before Thanksgiving!” squealed Mary Ann. To Jade she said, “We have to eat pizza with my parents first.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s our night-before-Thanksgiving tradition. Then we’re leaving at seven, k?”
“I cannot believe I finally get to meet Chris,” said Shelly. “We’re going to his house, right?”
Mary Ann confirmed that, yes, they were going to Chris’s house. The thought of this almost gave Jade a panic attack. She didn’t know anything about Chris or his house, or these plans, or this world. She took a deep breath.
“Do you mind if I hang here, you guys? I have a headache.”
Mary Ann and Shelly turned to her with identically furrowedbrows. “Oh, no!” said Mary Ann. “Is it bad? My mom can get you some Advil.”
“Thanks,” whispered Jade. “That would be great.”
