“So you don’t want to see what I bought?” Cosima got close to Edie again, kissed her mouth, kissed her cleavage, kissed the tigereye centered in her navel, making her jump, so she experimented and kissed a bit lower than that, breathing Edie in.
Edie went still, her thighs pressed together, but then she relaxed. Cosima looked up at Edie from between her legs. “Okay?”
“It’s so, so okay. It’s… the number-one thing I think about.”
“When you touch yourself. The number-one thing you think about is getting eaten out.” Cosima studied Edie’s face. Stroked down Edie’s thighs.
“Yeah.”
“But.”
“But it’s also the number-one thing in real life that’s sent me straight to overthinking. So then I switch gears and focus on the other person, and sometimes they seem relieved they don’thave to, and my worry feelings and overthinking build, and sometimes I feel like I’ve rejected them, but I don’t know what to say or do to make it better.”
Cosima had thought about it, too. She’d thought about her tongue licking through Edie, everything as soft and wet as she was herself. She’d thought about putting her own slick fingers in her mouth, wondering how Edie tasted. But in all of her fantasies, she’d also imagined Edie begging for Cosima to eat her. She’d thought of how Edie would say her name, or sayplease, princess.
“So maybe for now we set that aside,” Cosima said, kissing Edie’s soft stomach. “You should know that I would like nothing more than for you to come against my face.”
Edie put her head back on the bed and laughed. “God, Cosima. Where did you come from?”
“A castle.” Cosima smiled, then slid to the edge of her bed, grabbed her suitcase, and unzipped the top enough to rummage around and find the two cloth bags she’d packed. She pulled them out. They were bright pink with the name of a London adult toy store printed on them. She got herself back to Edie, kissing her and putting the bags between them. She started to grab one, and then Edie put her hand over the opening.
“Before we take a look.” Edie laid her palm against Cosima’s face. Her upper lip had swollen. Her freckles made starlight across her cheekbones. “It hasn’t been like this, with anyone. You’re taking care of me. You’re sexy. There isn’t going to be anyone else like you.”
No, there isn’t, Cosima thought.Because you’re mine, mine, mine.She didn’t say it, not yet, but she would. “I’m so glad you asked me for that walk.”
It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Edie pulled Cosima to her, and her mouth was so perfectly sweet. “All right, princess. Let’s see it.”
Cosima grinned and sat up, and Edie sat up, too, her shirt doing nothing to be a proper shirt and instead revealing new parts of Edie every time she moved. Cosima wasn’t complaining. She undid the drawstring of the first bag and grabbed the two items, pulling them both out at the same time and holding them up.
“CosimaFrank. I would have never.” Edie’s eyebrows were at her hairline as she took the hot pink harness and dildo from Cosima’s hands.
“I would have never, either, but you make me think about a lot of new things.” Cosima took the strap set back. “But unless you tell me different, these are mine.”
“Is that right?”
“Itmightbe right. Obviously, you would need to agree, but the harnessismy size, so there’s that. I’m perfectly willing to slide these back in their bag.” Cosima picked up the cotton drawstring.
“Um. Don’t do that.” Edie ran her finger down the dildo’s strategic bumps. “I know I have a kind of tomboyish presentation, and I struggle with expressing myself in bed. Probably that’s why I’m usually the one tagged in for this, even though…” Edie shrugged, then looked at the set again in a way that made Cosima wet.
“I want to fuck you,” she said, and the pulse throbbed in her wrists as vulnerability sluiced over her in goose bumps. “Tonight, or anytime.”
Edie looked away, but smiled. “What’s in the other bag?”
Cosima uncinched the bag and pulled out the white, cordless wand. “My favorite. I intimidated myself buying the strap set and then impulse-bought my old faithful. Plus, I wasn’t sure we’d get here, and I wanted a backup plan.”
Edie laughed. “Should we see where we get to?”
Cosima met Edie’s mouth and reached for the hem of Edie’s sweatshirt, and Edie helped her pull it off, then reached around to the hook in Cosima’s bra, which she shrugged off with a moan as soon as it was undone. She gently pushed Edie to the bed, and they yanked her cami-bra off between kisses, and didn’t stop kissing even when they struggled to shove off their panties.
God, the feel of Edie everywhere, soft and right and so good and unlawful and forbidden—it took her apart. They’d settled on their sides, their legs entwined, their hands everywhere, when she felt Edie against her thigh, so wet. Cosima gasped. It was a moment that shot through her, hot and sudden and so erotic, tears came to her eyes.
“You okay?” Edie panted.
“Better than okay.” Cosima loved how Edie’s flush made her pale freckles recede and her darker freckles rise up in new patterns. She loved how the strands of her long hair clinging to her neck made her look like a mermaid. She loved how her full breasts made Cosima feel wild and dirty with them pressed against her chest. She loved that she had never felt so good, sorightthat it hurt.
It was okay if this love broke her apart. Cosima was starting to believe that was what love, true love, might be for.
