I stretched and curled my fingers, trying to break the habit of tapping my knee with the finger that corresponded to the count. Getting made was the last thing I wanted tonight.
My spine stiffened as the pit boss froze behind me, studying my chips. The Four Horsemen wasn’t a high-dollar casino. Well, unless you were in the elusive high roller room. Whenever someone showed up to play in there, everyone else got kicked out.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as the pit boss circled the table again. It probably looked strange for a thirty-something who drove a decades-old car to be betting in the tenthousands, but I didn’t care about flying under the radar tonight. I needed a fast game, high bets, and good hands.
The antsy look that the dealer shared with the pit boss gave me pause. Maybe I should cash out and go to the bar for a drink or lose a little at craps.
But if I win big just one more time . . .
Nope. I wasn’t listening to that little voice. I couldn’t be emotion-driven.
Every year during professional development at Alcott, I had to detail my “why.”
Whywas I passionate about teaching?
Whydid I want to be in my field of expertise?
Whyscould be emotional. But that’s where emotion had to end.
Howcouldn’t be emotional.
I was here because of Joel. That was my why. It’s what kept my ass glued to this seat no matter how much I wanted to run. ButhowI got him out of his predicament had to be cold and calculated.
I needed to stop after this hand. I needed to get something from the bar and pretend to drink it. I needed to cash out most of what I had won in case I needed to make a quick escape. And then I needed one more win.
I chanted the count in my head as the next round began.
And then the dealer shuffled and added another deck of cards.
Dammit.
Now the count was back at zero and I was betting blind.
Either the universe was against me in the eleventh hour, or the dealer and the pit boss were onto me.
Fuck it.
I bet five grand, held my breath, and hoped for the best.
Queen of hearts.Dammit.
Fury skittered up and down my arms as I watched five grand be taken away from me.
I wasn’t doing that again.
Bar. Regroup. New count. Win big.
I opened my mouth to excuse myself when a shadow flooded the table.
“Ma’am, do you drive a silver sedan with Connecticut plates?”
I looked up to find Jude towering over me with a grim look on his face.
“Yes?” I said as I picked up the casino-issued tray that held my chips and eyed the cashier’s cage. The line was a little backed up, but waiting would give me time to cool down. Delaying my big win by an hour or so wouldn’t be the end of the world, but losing it all because I got too emotional would be.
“Your car is about to be towed. You might want to go move it.”
“Dammit!” I froze and clenched my eyes shut. Ineverhad outbursts like that. “This is not my night,” I huffed.
