Tuesday, August 26 | 5:45 a.m.
“Try to lay low today,” I said as I crossed Amelia’s bedroom with a mug of coffee in hand.
It was her second cup of the morning, a reward after she ate a proper breakfast. Cooking eggs and pancakes was the least I could do after she let me stay the night.In her bed.
“I’ve got some good leads, but I need to tread carefully. People in the bureau tend to close ranks with accusations like this, and I’m still on the outs with a lot of people.”
Amelia nodded as she reached up and accepted the refill. Her color was better today. Her cheeks were flushed and her skin had lost the grayness. Despite our late night and early wake-up call so I could make it back to the city, the bags under her eyes were gone.
“I’ve gotta make sure I’m not wrong.” I let out a heavy breath. “I know it sucks, but I can’t pull the trigger too soon. Just . . . Please don’t go out unless you have to.”
“I’m working from home today,” she said. “And I have every intention of going back to sleep as soon as you leave.”
“I don’t blame you.” I kissed her cheek. “You got quite a workout last night.”
Amelia smiled to herself as she set the mug on her bedside table and stretched, going stiff, then curling in like a cat.
“I know you’re still mad about the cameras,” I said.
“And door sensors,” she tacked on.
“Yeah.” I swallowed thickly. “But please—just leave them on for now.”
She huffed, making a fuss about it, even though we had talked it out at length last night. “I promise,” she grumbled as she adjusted the pillow under her head. “I’m not the kind of heroine who refuses security measures because sheisn’t going to let the bad guy have any more of her lifeand thenimmediatelygets kidnapped because she turns off the security system and goes on a hike by herself.” She punctuated her sarcasm with air quotes.
“You’ve been on a fiction kick?”
“I had to dosomethingall summer,” she muttered. “You can be depressed and bored at the same time.”
After two orgasms for her and one for me, we spent the night laying everything out.
We started with why I hadn’t told her I was FBI, which stretched from the reasonable explanation that I couldn’t break my cover, no matter what, and ended with me admitting that my feelings for her were the reason I started giving her pieces of reality, like myreallast name.
It was fear that had kept me from telling her the rest.
Fear that she would get in trouble if she knew everything, since I’d left my assignment for her.
Fear that she wouldn’t want this version of me.
Fear that shewouldwant this version of me when it was the one I struggled with most.
The longer I had been under with Valentine, the more I believed that the version of myself I was forced to be was the only one I could be.
She proved me wrong from the moment she laid eyes on me and every moment after that.
Amelia studied me through lowered eyelids as I buttoned my shirt, tied my necktie, and toed on my shoes. Last was the leather holder with my credentials that I kept in my pocket—and my gun. It felt heavier today than it usually did.
“I’m still really angry at you,” she admitted as she rolled onto her side and stared at the wall. “I know you had good reasons for doing what you did . . . I know some of it was out of your control . . . but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
I knelt beside the bed and gently brushed her hair away from her face. “I know. The only thing I want from you is a chance.” I kissed her bare shoulder. “A chance to make it right. A chance for us to get to know each other in the real world. A chance for me to make you fall in love again because I’ll tell you what, little fox—there’s no coming back from what I feel for you.” I kissed her temple as her eyes fluttered closed. “Stay angry. It doesn’t scare me. It tells me where I stand with you, and that’s what I want the most.”
“Honesty.” The word was barely audible.
“Yeah.”
“I want that too,” she said quietly. “And sleep. I haven’t slept well in months, and right now, I just want to go back to bed.” Amelia glanced at the clock. “And you’re going to be late if you don’t get going.”
“Sweet dreams,” I said softly as I kissed her head. “Text me when you get up.”
