“He loved you a lot,” I whispered as I blinked back tears.
Ryan’s arm banded around my back as he tucked me into his side.
“Thanks for being here,” Lisa said as she peered around me. “Want to introduce me to your entourage?”
“Sorry, we’re funeral crashers,” Whitney said as she gave Lisa a quick hug. “I’m Whitney West. This is my husband, Miles.”
Wander followed her lead, giving the same introduction for her and Jack. “We’re so sorry for your loss. Willow talked about Shep all the time. He sounds like an incredible person.”
“Thank you,” Lisa whispered.
The minister tapped her on the shoulder to let her know that he would begin whenever she was ready.
For some reason, it didn’t feel right sitting by Lisa and her parents or Shep’s parents, though all of them had always felt like family. I stuck with the WWs. The six of us took our seats, a few rows behind them.
Whitney came armed with packs of tissues and passed them out like candy. “Fair warning. I’m going to cry. Everything makes me cry. So, if you’re a sympathetic crier, just look away,” she said.
I took a tissue, even though I knew it would be a soaked, sopping mess in just a few minutes.
As the minister began with his opening remarks, Ryan glanced over his shoulder, then tapped my leg. “Your mom’s here,” he whispered.
I turned and spotted her immediately.
She hadn’t joined the crowd under the tent to pay her respects. Instead, she lingered on the outskirts of the hill, standing in the shade of a beautiful oak tree. Her hands were folded in front of her, lying on top of her black skirt and gray blouse. She wore sunglasses, but I would know my mother anywhere.
“Amber’s not,” I whispered back as I turned to face the front.
Ryan draped his arm around my shoulders and tucked me into his side. Even though it was sweltering, I leaned into his warmth.
The casket was a plain pine box, polished and lacquered, with sunflowers and greenery in a spray on top.
It didn’t feel real.
It felt like that box was empty.
It felt like this was a fever dream or some sick, twisted joke.
It felt like, at any moment, he’d pop out from behind the preacher and scare the shit out of everyone just to get a laugh.
Given the extent of the crash injuries, Lisa had decided to forgo the viewing and open casket.
I always hated viewings, but maybe that’s what gave people closure.
What I wouldn’t have given to see him one last time.
This had to be bizarre for Ryan. He was at a funeral for a man he had never met, with a woman he had known for barely a month.
It was like going to a wedding on a first date.
But there he was. Sitting beside me with his arm around me. Fingers traced abstract shapes on my shoulder as he paid his respects to a complete stranger.
I glanced over my shoulder again to see if my mom was just lingering by the tree because Amber was late. But my mom was still alone in the distance, and Amber was nowhere to be seen.
I turned back to pay attention to the minister as he neared the peak of his short speech. “Shepherd Winslow was a loving husband, friend, and father. He cared deeply for his family and community, often using his time on the road to call someone who he thought might need a listening ear.”
I lifted my sunglasses and dabbed my eyes with the tissue Whitney gave me. I liked that the preacher had called Shep a loving father. He had been like a father to Amber and me. He deserved the title.
As far as I was concerned, he was.
