“I didn’t know that about you,” I admitted.
“You never asked.” Ryan’s pointed statement stung.
“I didn’t think you would stick around this long.”
Ryan cracked a smile. “Hate to break it to you, but I’m annoyingly loyal.”
“How long were your parents in the military?”
“Long before I was born. Then I came along. My dad died when I was twelve. My mom stayed in. I’d go live with my grandparents when she was deployed. When she got out, we kept moving around every few years. It’s like it was ingrained in both of us. Always searching for home.”
“I’m sorry about your dad.”
A sad smile dimpled his cheek. “Just something else we have in common, cupcake.”
“Shep wasn’t my dad.”
“He was whatever you wanted him to be. His memory is whatever you need him to be.” Ryan squeezed my shoulders, then balled up the paper towels he had brought our sandwiches in and stuffed them in his pockets.
He walked with me, carrying my laptop and notebook inside. We unpacked and settled into an evening routine, trading off in the bathroom as we brushed our teeth and got ready for bed.
But when it came time to sleep, I couldn’t. I was exhausted. The bed didn’t feel right. It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t what I needed it to be.
I tiptoed out of the moonlit bedroom into the living room.
Ryan was stretched out on the couch with a pillow wedged beneath his head and a blanket half-covering his chest. As soon as my shadow crossed his face, his eyes popped open.
“What’s the matter, Wills?” he rasped.
I felt so stupid for even having the thought to ask. Especially after all the hell I’d put him through.
“Willow.” His voice was saturated with concern, but it turned to curiosity. “Are you sleepwalking?”
“No,” I sighed. “You have to be able to sleep to sleepwalk.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I just can’t sleep. I . . .” I couldn’t ask him. It was stupid. I was stupid. “I was gonna see if you wanted to take the bed. One of us should get a good night's sleep. You can’t be comfortable on the couch. I’m shorter than you, anyway. You should take the?—”
“Come on,” Ryan said as he eased off the couch and tucked his pillow under his arm.
Oh . . .
My eyes widened. Ryan Ford in a pair of black boxer briefs was not what I expected to see. When we spent the night at the hotel in Kansas City, I never saw him undressed.
“Your eyes are bigger than your stomach, cupcake. But we can readdress the way you just looked at my dick another night.”
I tore my eyes away as Ryan ushered me back into the bedroom. “I’m gonna grab a pillow, and then the bed’s all yours.”
“Get in,” Ryan said as he set his pillow down on the side of the bed closest to the door and pulled the covers back.
“Excuse me?”
“Get in bed, Willow.”
“But I?—”
Ryan scooped me up and deposited me on the turned-down side of the mattress. Without a word, he climbed in on the side where he had put his pillow.
