As you work through the program, keep adding to your list. The first ten things this week are a launching point, not a mad dash to the finish.
Need more guidance? Schedule a coaching call with Ryan Ford.
4
RYAN
THE PIEROGI PIT STOP
My phone pinged.
Future Wife
The traitor has been executed.
I chuckled as I peeled my attention away from the video call for a split second and texted back.
Me
Tell Wander her efforts were not in vain. I’ll send flowers to the funeral.
Future Wife
Wander hates flowers. Send a French fry bouquet.
I grinned because Willow was bantering with me. As long as she kept talking to me, I had a chance.
Me
What about you? Flowers or fries?
I turnedmy phone over so I wouldn’t be tempted to keep texting while I was coaching. I unmuted my microphone and nodded as Jesse, the client, finished explaining how he was struggling with week seven.
“Hey, man. I get it. It can be hard to separate the idea that sex doesn’t mean intimacy. Sometimes it does, but what you need to focus on is thinking of intimacy as comfort. Safety. Calm. You have to remove any barriers that keep her from feeling like she can open up to you. Is there laundry on the couch? You can do the romantic candlelit dinner with champagne and all the bells and whistles, but if there’s something that has to be done around the house, she’ll be distracted or feel guilty that it hasn’t been done yet. Just because you can put it out of your mind doesn’t mean she can. So remove that barrier. Clean up the kitchen before she sees the dinner you busted your ass to make. Fold the clothes sitting in the laundry basket. Pick up the clutter. That way, she doesn’t hop up at the end of the meal to tackle the dishes, and you two can have time to deepen your connection. Take that mental load from her so, when you’re having your intimate night, all she has to think about is you.”
Jesse sighed. “I hate folding clothes.”
“She probably does too.”
That made him pause.
This shit wasn’t rocket science, but sometimes it felt like teaching physics to a four-year-old would be easier.
“Hell, you should make it a thing you guys do together. Get some takeout or throw a frozen pizza into the oven, put on a TV show you both like, and fold the laundry together. Try toframe it as something you do with your hands while yougetto spend time talking to her. If you treat it like a chore, it will be. Spending time with your wife isn’t a chore, my guy. She should be your best friend.”
Jesse cracked a half-smile. “Yeah, she’s great.”
Jesse and his wife, Michelle, went through a rough patch in their marriage. She brought up separating, and it was enough of a wake-up call for Jesse to start putting in some effort. Thanks to a work buddy who had gotten engaged after going through my program, Jesse started The Ford Method and was slowly working his way through the steps to make his wife fall in love all over again.
His problem was complacency. He and Michelle had been married for four years and together for nine—enough time for the honeymoon stage to wear off and the mundane to set in.
Apathy was a death sentence for love.
“Our time’s about up,” I said as I glanced at the clock on my computer. “Anything you want to tackle before we sign off?”
Jesse sighed as he sat back in his office chair and raked his hand through his hair. “Nah. I've gotta head to a meeting.”
“Of course. I hope things go well. You already have the skills you need to succeed. I’m just here to remind you that you have them.”
