I think some parents dread the college years because they fear what their kids will be up to without them hovering.
Not me.
I’m excited for you to go to college. I can’t wait for you to take on the world. I can’t wait to see the good that you put intoit. And when the world is cruel in return, I hope you know that you always have a place to come home to where your gentleness will be protected.
As you graduate alongside all your friends, I hope you feel as proud of yourself as I am of you. Not just for your achievements, but because of the woman you are becoming.
Being your dad is my greatest honor and my greatest achievement. I can’t wait to see what this next chapter in life brings.
Love,
Dad
33
AUTUMN
PIGEONS AND PLOTS
Wander and Whitney replaced Jack almost immediately. They sandwiched me on the top step and stuffed a cup of coffee in my hand.
“How’d you sleep?” Whitney asked as she sipped her mug of herbal tea.
“Like shit.”
“Yeah. You look like it,” Wander said.
I snorted. “Gee. Thanks.”
She picked up one of the envelopes. “You read them all?”
I nodded.
“How was it?” Whitney asked.
I let out a sharp breath. “Brutal. Wonderful. Hurt like hell. Made me feel good. It gave me some answers. But it left me with even more questions.”
“I think that’s life,” Whitney said. “We rarely get all the answers at once. Sometimes we don’t get them at all.”
“Have you talked to anyone yet?” Wander asked.
“Anyone . . . meaning Ryan?” His name tasted like battery acid.
“Him. Your mom. Your sister. Your . . . not dad? Lisa . . .”
“I called Amber and Greg before you guys came out here.”
Whitney wrapped her arms around her bump and hunched forward like she was giving her little one a hug. “How was that?”
I shrugged. “I guess it was fine. I told Amber that she and I aren’t good. So, cheers to not being the bigger person.”
“Sometimes you just have to work through the hurt. It’s not always pretty, and people who hurt you don’t get to demand it be any less messy,” Wander said. “What about Greg?”
“I guess I feel relieved. It doesn’t excuse the fact that he was complicit in keeping it a secret or excused for being an ass to me as an adult. But knowing why makes it hurt a little less. I guess, in hindsight, he just didn’t want to lead me on anymore, and I can’t blame him.”
“Do you think you’ll still try to talk to him?” Whitney asked.
I had been thinking about that question since the moment I hung up. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready to make that decision yet.”
