His eyes locked on mine, but I didn’t dare meet his gaze. I wouldn’t survive it.
Time ceased inside the car, even though the world kept spinning around us in a mirage.
I was running out of oxygen. This vacuum was suffocating both of us. My lungs ached as I held it all in. My eyes stung with salty tears as he slowly zipped up his backpack and unbuckled his seatbelt.
Ryan slipped out of the car, shouldered his bag, then grabbed his suitcases out of the trunk. He braced his hands on the frame of the car. “Promise me one thing.”
“You don’t get to make demands.”
He closed his eyes to block out the blow. “Promise me that you’ll open the envelopes. Promise me that.”
My jaw ached from the way I was gritting my teeth. The automated reminder about drop off times played again.
“Go.”
Ryan locked eyes with me, and this time, I locked eyes with him. I wanted him to see the pain and the hurt that he had caused.
The news would have hurt either way. But instead of having him to run to, I had to run away.
“I was going to tell you one more thing last night,” he said. “But I never got the chance.”
“Whatever it was, I hope you live with that regret for the rest of your life.”
“I love you,” he said without a hint of remorse. “And I will never regret that.”
Tears spilled from my eyes in a downpour. “Yeah?” My voice cracked. “Well, I regret loving you.”
The imageof Ryan standing on the airport sidewalk as I pulled away from the curb haunted me for three days as I headed east.
At the first stop for gas, I blocked my mom and Amber.
At the first stop for food, I blocked Lisa.
At the first stop for sleep, I blocked Greg.
Ironic that he didn’t care about talking to me until now.
And when I woke up, I unblocked Ryan’s number only to break down in tears when I saw the missed calls and unread texts.
Then, I blocked it again and kept driving.
I didn’t stop driving except for short stints of sleep and fuel until I hit the Carolina coast.
I followed the edge of the continent until the tree-lined roads broke open, showing off a glimmering ocean as I was welcomed to Cedar Island, North Carolina.
It was only when I pulled onto her street that I regretted not telling Wander I was coming.
But as soon as I pulled into her driveway, the door to her and Jack’s beach house opened, and she ran down the stairs.
“I had a feeling you were coming,” she whispered as she pulled me out of the car and into a hug. “Come on. I’ve got the guest room ready. Whitney’s flight lands soon, so she should be here by dinner.”
I broke down and sobbed, gasping for air. I didn’t deserve them.
“H-How did y-you k-know?”
Her smile was concerned, but kind. “You were silent in the group chat. We messaged to make sure you were okay or to see if you were just busy. When you didn’t answer, Whitney hopped on a flight and I put the sheets in the laundry.”
I was hit by a fresh wave of tears as Wander pulled me in for another hug. She wasn’t touchy-feely. Hugging wasn’t the way she showed love.
